basically I’m the quiet one and even though she never was my supervisor, she acted like it. I was doing my job and she kept pestering me to help her with something she could do alone. I told her to wait, she kept calling me. I ignored her to do my job, she kept calling until I exploded:
First I said I don’t want to argue. She kept nagging me.
I yelled: leave me alone. She started a chain of expletives and called somebody. I don’t know who she called, but I assume somebody from management.
She’s the popular one and has been working there for 15 years already.
Back to today: I work in the same department, but another building, doing exactly the same, but it stings that nobody ever called me to ask for my side of the story. I feel disrespected and angry.
This is also a job I haven’t been happy for the last 2 months, before this conflict with this coworker, meaning I’ve been applying for positions, both for promotions within my company (office job instead of mechanical job) and for jobs elsewhere. After finding out the real story, after knowing how much power a popular person has over you, I only want to move on as soon as I can to another department or quit altogether.
The rational solution would be to focus on the office job within the same company away from that coworker and that department, but I’m not making much sense now…
It hurts.
Is this the right way of going through life?
Whoever goes to HR first is usually the de facto winner. Sure, there might be an investigation. But they got their side of the story in first.
Had this happen to me. I worked in a cubicle farm and had women on all sides who would talk about their sex lives from their cubes (looking over the walls like a gopher) with me stuck in the center. I asked if they could have their discussions elsewhere and one went to hr and said I was eavesdropping. I got the write up.