Bah bah-raaan, taaaaake my… Hoof?

yep you’re dead good luck turning 15

How do I made my deposit??

Jim from The Office has aged terribly…

How’d they get a picture of me?

ah beans

A fart, a fart
It’s good for the heart
It sets the body at ease

It’ll warm up the sheets
You can set it alight
And it fumigates all of the fleas

Oh crap, I forgot to write “/s”

Yup! And reprinting editions that are 50 years old!

We had some major construction done at our work recently. Our boss told us that if we wanted to work remote, do so and just keep it quiet; if we wanted to work in-office-they’d find us space. Everyone was expressly welcome to work remote, except “anyone with ‘director’ in their title.” That was kinda cool.

Why not? I find the greener parts of nightshades to be the most deliciously tingly

It’s okay, I must be particularly silly this morning because I’m laughing at it way too hard

I’m not your buddy, I’m here to educate you

It feels kinda like an old vaudevillian joke… If a Russian battalion were to arrive at your doorstep and demand that you house them and that your compliance would be looked at favorably when Russia takes over—not only would you be constitutionally protected if you chose to shoot them, you’d likely be lauded as a hero.

But when a Russian asset takes over and compromises our country, well, good luck finding the legal loophole to justify shooting a president.

And here, laws mean everything. It’s why immigrants are illegal, shoplifting is bad, landlords are good, and more money=more free speech. Then again, a coup is supposed to be illegal, so once again, I direct you to my previous response: “we’re aggressively dumb.”

Wait isn’t that why your citizens are armed? To stop this exact thing…?

No, we’re armed to stop an invading army. We put that in the bill of rights while keeping one eye on France and the other on Britain. All of our laws and traditions regarding the government were written assuming that the people would only vote for someone who wanted to do a good job being president.

It turns out that when you design a country to favor rich men, then let those rich men amass unfathomable generational wealth and teach the populace that money and power=trustworthiness, you end up with a fetid cesspool. As you pointed out, the people certainly aren’t powerless in this situation, just too uninformed, misinformed, and afraid to do anything about it. You’re talking about a country where people say that corporations are evil but somehow empowering the people with unions is worse. We say that billionaires are manipulating the country and destroying politics, and then vote for a (alleged) billionaires. The leopards aren’t just eating our faces, we’re even making up excuses for the leopards between bloodcurdling screams and say that this is the only way to hurt other people, as if siccing leopards on your peers is actually a reasonable course of action.

We aren’t stupid, we’re aggressively stupid.

If you can’t handle the slightest insult, you need to grow thicker skin. Or any skin… How tf are you alive?

Actually a useful site and from my friend’s company! stremecoder.com

It’s a graphical node-based platform to write and learn python

I was confused after I read the music because I’ve forgotten how to read music and my pitch is shit

sudo rm -f ~/myhead/thisfuckingjoke.txt

But also, bravo

Hubba hubba

Are… Ummm… Is this flirting? Can’t it instead be “A penny taken bowling and then for ice cream” instead of going straight to pillaging?