Im a trans woman, and im bisexual. My attraction to women goes from “I wanna be you” to “I wanna be with you”

Sometimes I end up looking at the downblouse, mostly since im taller than most cis women. Recently I was with a friend, everything ok, however. I was able to see her nipples because of the blouse she was wearing and her loose bra. I was normal about it, but I was feeling bad and uncomfortable because this is my friend and I felt like I was kinda invadir her provacy somehow.

What I wanna ask is if yall notice when someone is watching the downblouse and how you feel about it.

  • MajorHavoc@programming.dev
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    4 months ago

    If it’s an acquaintance, I try to ignore it and let it go. It’s awkward, but I’m probably not the only person who finds them attractive. I focus on what I think it takes to be a comfortable positive interaction for them, even if my natural reactions probably do show through.

    If it’s a close friend, I would feel free to - in private - mention to them the effect of their (current) wardrobe, and just ask if they mind my enjoying the view.

    “X is showing, when Y. It doesn’t bother me, I love the way you look. But I thought I would check if you’re aware and comfortable with it. I’m probably the tallest person here, I can just stand a bit further away, today, if you need me to.”

    My saying something in private gives a chance to adjust, if what is showing is not what they were hoping for.

    If exactly what they intended is showing, they can call me a prude; I can say sorry I thought better to check; and we can laugh it off.

    And, of course, I try to respect whatever preference they share, regarding how they want to be looked at.

  • YarrMatey@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    4 months ago

    I’m female and bi and it is definitely noticeable when someone is staring at my chest and it is very uncomfortable. When I was younger there were certain guys that rarely looked me in my face and were just looking at my chest the whole time. I asked other girls about it and they agreed they too felt them gazing at their chests and it was really uncomfortable and off-putting for them as well. If you wanna help then tell them discreetly to tighten their bra straps. Otherwise I don’t find it acceptable to stare at a woman’s chest. A glance maybe but you should really be looking at their faces. People are not meat or eye candy, don’t objectify them, just remember the person they are inside. There may be women ok with it and like flaunting it but that’s not been my personal experience.

    • Sas [she/her]@beehaw.org
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      4 months ago

      100% agree. While i love showing off my general form some days because I’m proud of myself, it’s never just the chest and if something is visible there it’s by accident and not meant for public viewing. Sometimes it’s very hot out which might get me to put on fairly loose blouses but that’s not for show and more for me to not die of a heat stroke. So unless we’ve been dating for a bit, no, please don’t stare at my chest. If we’ve been dating however, i might do it on purpose 😋

  • venusaur@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Don’t “watch the downblouse”, perv. You can catch a glimpse accidentally, but don’t keep looking for it. Doesn’t matter if you’re a cis man, trans man, cis woman or a trans woman. Respect people’s privacy like you want people to respect you.

    Like others are saying, you can help if you think they’re not aware that they’re revealing more than they would like.