One of my favorites is:

“Never lie, never tell the whole truth, and never pass up a chance to use a real bathroom.”

  • inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    “Anywhere is a bathroom if you are drunk enough.”

    -an old roommate

    He was fun, but, uh, yeah. He definitely had a drinking problem. Drank on the job, at work, to fall asleep, to relax, when he was nervous, when he was happy. Not sure if he ever put this in to pratice but I wouldn’t doubt it at all.