My father insists on a version of past events that is not true, where he supposedly helped me pay off debt when in reality I paid it off by working FOR YEARS. He doesn’t say it as something he’s proud of, but something I owe him and haven’t “thanked” him for (?). He is extremely stubborn and old enough to definitely not remember things well.
He does this kind of thing with my siblings as well and it’s come to the point where we feel that all we really were for our father was a money burden, be it true or not that he helped us financially at some point.
How can I come to terms with the fact that he’s not gonna acknowledge the truth no matter how many times I explain it to him, despite the anger and frustration I feel towards him for claiming something he actually DIDN’T do for his kid while minimizing my own work and effort?
My father once took credit for an idea about how to do something when in the previous conversation he’d argued against my suggestion. He really believed it was his idea. I hung and called my mother exasperated because I knew she’d understand after being married to him for how ever many years (divorce). She was just like, yeah, what can you do. It sucks.
So, what can you do. It sucks.
Thank you. I guess realizing there isn’t much you can actually do is kind of liberating
“What can you do” is an enabling answer. There is usually something that can be done, choices and decisions to consider, like in this instance you could address the situation and depending on the outcome choose whether that person is to continue being part of your life.