I become them. I absorb everything I know about them and create a simulation of them in my mind. I run this simulation through activities i’m aware of them partaking in, trying to include their current possessions in the simulation, and try to estimate how they would be feeling in the simulations as I introduce likely gifts to their routine.

When possible use past conversations and observations as rails for these simulations to keep them constrained to good gift ranges.

As an example of this technique in action every year at birthday and christmas time I’ll run through a little simulation of my partners day in my head, like they wake up and turn on the light and then go in the bathroom turning on the coffee maker on the way and then brush their teeth and then make some coffee etc. just going through each step i’m aware of and looking for opportunities to reduce friction or inject happiness. The most recent gift using this method was a bento style lunchbox. I had simulated from our conversations and observations that her lunch was sometimes at her desk and sometimes in her car so the surface could be quite variable. I thought that instead of trying to deal with a bag full of small containers in the car that it would be easier to work with a single more stable compartmented container. I also suspected she might eat more variety if it was all available at once instead of having to sort through different containers.

This was a wild success and she’s thanked me multiple times for the bento style lunchbox. Well i got that by simulating her, it’s an effective method for picking out gifts I have a good success rate!