Some background on this comic:

Transcript:

“You have offended millions of pet owners with this garbage. If you can not do better than this, we suggest you seek another occupation.”

—Reader, Florida

Thank God I didn’t go with my first caption, “Bobbing for babies.”

Bonus context, from the next page of the book:

Transcript:

And, finally, my response to all those who took the time to register their complaints: