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Cake day: October 13th, 2023

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  • There’s a significant emotional and mental difference between giving $100 to buy mosquito nets and directly helping resolve a topical conflict within a tribe you’re a part of. A lot of effort (on both sides) goes into bridging that gap.

    So yes, absolutely do the good things you can at a distance. But also don’t be disappointed when that doesn’t make you feel better.

    (And yes, I wasn’t very clear about that in my original point. Good job and thank you for making+helping me clarify)


  • Humanity is now cursed with knowing every bit of horror that happens all around the globe. 200 years ago you might only find out about atrocities months or years after they happened, if at all. It was much clearer then that there was literally nothing you could do about them. Nowadays if you want to throw your life away you can just buy a plane ticket to Ukraine. So now we’re being much more regularly faced with terrible things we’re not prepared to deal with happening somewhere.

    And the truth is still that there is not really anything significant we can do. If it was happening in our backyard we might fight, but there’s only so many backyards and only so much room for foolishly selfless people to lay down their lives.

    The weirdness you’re feeling is not a moral failing, but rather the strangeness of a world we’re not built for. As much as I and you might feel for any given fight or issue, the 99% of them are not our business, and it’s not morally expected of us to get involved. Lots of religions and moral frameworks and feelings say otherwise. Forget them.


















  • Yes, but also some of polyamory is that not every relationship has to be “we cohabit and have kids and can deal with every single little quietly annoying thing the other does”. Some relationships are focused on sex. Some are focused on breaking into aquariums together. Some are with people across the country and even though you are close it doesn’t make sense to get together more than once a year. Although polyamorous relationships can look like monogamy*2, part of the point is that more focused, smaller relationships can also be romantic.