I followed your advice, now I’m sitting in jail. What did I do wrong?

Boxes hold fruit. Including peaches. But in terms of fruit, I’ve never heard a pussy being called anything but a peach. Boobs are called melons but that’s about it in terms of fruit analogies.

The most sarcastic, yet relatable response to any conversation not involving you (or me).

A box

I’ve seen a video where someone did just this. Blew my freaking mind.

Sorry you’re going through that bud. To us that have few or no friends, the holidays can be a very depressing time of the year. But, in time, if you put in the effort, you can make friends or at the very least, make the most of what you have.

Hopefully this doesn’t sound too conceited, but I truly hope you find happiness my friend.

I had a Furby. It used to talk to me from my closet while I slept… Does that count?

Hmmm. I think it means somethings wrong with your speedometer. I mean it’s pointing directly at it.

Hmmmmm… So does that make me a time traveler? I’ve always wanted to be Phill of the Future.

Things you see in Canada

People’s example #1

/s I am indeed unreasonably mad.

Not that you put the cast iron in the dishwasher (enjoy your rust), but the fact that you can actually fit the pan in your dishwasher. I recently spent $350 on a portable dishwasher and your iron skillet is bigger than that. I bought that thing to NOT have to scrub dishes. Thanks for reminding me that I STILL have to scrub pots and pans!