Strimmers.

Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Lol!!!

I feel awesome, because I’m no oil painting but I reckon I’d win in this field. Born too late, me.

What? I’m not abandoning him. I just get free childcare when he hits 3.

Finish paying childcare for my toddler. I’ll be 700 quid a month better off. Yeeha.

Uwe Boll’s Rampage. He gets slated but that movie is great.

Johnny Bravo

I am Reversi Hearts Freecell Solitaire Minesweeper 3d pinball for windows old.

There is almost no risk of me going blind. I’m not prodding my eyes roughly or causing any sensation other than mild pressure.

We have never seen the headline ‘Man goes totally blind by gently pressing heel of hand into closed eyes’

It’s also, as I said, not something I do all the time. It’s not a hobby. Every once in a while in a nice hot bath or lying in the sun for added colour variance.

It’s sweet.

I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’m not doing irreparable damage with the mild pressing a dozen or so times a year.

Why ‘especially if you’re 43’?

The only Ed Sheeran post I’ve upvoted. I loathe these cringey band-wagon-jumping low-effort posts.

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It’s likely that the info came from you.

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Watch: football (soccer) and MMA.

Play: football, darts, badminton, squash. Golf occasionally.

Step 5: put in bin.

I think it’s Seeth Reepio

You might even call them fundamentally explicable.

The old gypsy lady literally told him he’d be stepped on by a giant bird or something similar, and he supposed that, being a mystical fortune teller type, there was some layered meaning to that.

Do they? I’ve never heard anyone give it an actual name, like a guy’s name. I’ve heard different slang terms used, but nobody who calls his cock Beastmaster or Malcolm or whatever.