Me talking to my brain when I’m trying to sleep

The “with props” implies that all the other planes drones dont have props. All hail the prop-less Cesena!

God only intervened after Noah lost all his money to the cows and asked fir a loan

What a relief my 1st grade teacher was right: we’ll never walk around with calculators in our pockets

It’s gay so you don’t have to

Mint: easy

The perfect gift for that 1 family member you just absolutely can’t stand being I the same house with

Are you insane? I’ll assume it’s a sphere, thank you very much

God hasn’t been seen since he fired himself out of that cannon

Shut the fuck up Mario, Luigi is hot! You’re the ugly one here!

Nobody:

“No I don’t have a doctorate, I just do it for the sport”

It’s middle managers all the way up. They all direct you to their manager

No but I get that a lot

Society

dies of old age at 32

“Dad the game is telling me to put it on my wrist”

“Yea only if you’re a coward”

Mac and cheese is the best Thanksgiving food and you can not change my mind

And I mean a good Mac n cheese made in the oven so its crispy and shit

Ignoring Sadam, it always fucks me up that my arm bones cross. Like wtf whyyy