“Human dragon” is in perhaps a better descriptor for the analogy

HO HO HO

Gotta change the gear ratio on the twisty stick, so you can open and close much faster.

There are a few universal truths to humanity.

One is that there are two types of people: those who can have nice, delicate things, and those who should be denied entrance to anywhere the first group goes.

The test is: can you pick up and appropriately place a needle on a record.

W.T.F.

Floor spiders say thanks!

Say what you will, but the genie never misses ab day.

I would prefer the USPS bring back basic banking at their branches.

If they’re going to add anything, add Internet as a Service, since it’s an essential utility for modern living.

If Eric Adams is speaking, he’s lying

The Incredibles came out twenty years ago?

I think I’d prefer to be that 400 year old Greenland shark. Just moseying around the ocean, lurkin in the dark, senile as shit.

Entropy is a helluva drug

Dig a 3 feet deep trench in front of the fence and use it for composting

Yeah but then you have to change your lung oil more frequently. Shit adds up in this economy

Jesus himself would probably set their house on fire

Daniel Kahneman’s lesser known sequel to Thinking, Fast and Slow

Better if they used the Spear of Longinus to cut the pie

Sends a screaming horde of children in with multiple bags of chips and soda

Laughs maniacally

“Stuff 3: now with 100% propriety parts”

You gotta get the right kit. Ever grown crystals?