My brain decrees that touching a public door handle will kill me so this is my life 😓

(I blame covid for this)

🤮

I have to use paper towels to open doors, and probably use hand sanitizer afterwards on top of that. This is just… (no words to describe)

“I’m JD Vance, Vice President-elect”

is practically the same thing

The germaphobia in me really want a version that is activated by a pedal that you step on.

But then, I’d probably be too afraid of shared water fountains to begin with.

knocks

“Chairman Stalin?”

Stalin having a heart attack and doesn’t respond

“Oh, sorry, Mr. Chairman, I’m guessing you don’t want to be bothered” walks away

For my cat is, my parent’s car parking in front of the house, my cat just instinctivelt wake up and jump up on the window and stare outside to wait to them to come home.

I have no idea if she is somehow recognizing the car’s specific sounds, or doe she have some magical telepathy.

I pronounce the british word as Co-lour-ur

Lol China used to use “Year 1” right after Xinhai Revolution.

Its “民国” (ROC) followed by the year number

Example: 民国一年 ROC Year One (aka 1912)

(ROC stand for Republic of China, btw)

Then the communists kicked the KMT out, and I think the ROC government in exhile in Taiwan stopped using it.

Why said anything about being able to afford it?

(The secret ingredient, is crime)

Somewhere in the negative.

I’m guessing I’m allowed an anti-matter flamethrower?

Are Flamethrowers allowed in public transport?

Asking for a friend…

Joe Biden when the moderator asks him a question during the debate: ⬆️

Just fly your own drone and ram into their drone. Then you pull an uno reverse and claim they hit you first. FAA aint touching this, and cops are too lazy to do anything and will say its “Civil Matter”

New Jersey people need new glasses…

Lmao, it was during highschool. I was 17. I got suspended immediatelty and they tried to expel me, but failed. I said fuck them anyways and dropped out and just got GED instead, my state still give a certificate that use the word “Diploma” for it and my GED scores looked much better than my GPA too. I got accepted to a state university, but I eventually have to drop out due to depression.

Also I got en existential crisis about the possibility of deportations. But luckily in this timeline, I was already a US Citizen derived fron my mother’s Citizenship. Wonder what’s happening with me in the other timelines in which I didn’t have Citizenship yet.

Charges eventually got dropped via some “diversion” BS but I did not have to admit any guilt so I just took it, I would’ve fought it though the courts if any plea deals required admission of guilt.

And theres also some BS with juveniles technically not getting a Jury Trial, so its just a judge deciding it, even though it carries similar consequences as an adult conviction for an assult charge.

So much fucking bullshit.

Alternatively, I defended myself against a bully and got arrested. (Bully never got punished)

ACAB

Y’all don’t have a bucket for certain shitty scenarios?

🙃

Langoliers Dimention?

c/Greentext but Better

Qualified Immunity Shitpost