Mine is silent unless you take it off. I can’t sleep without it now.

Lose weight. CPAP.

Mind your own business, Sarah. I know it’s you.

I’m from the Detroit area and spend a lot of time in the city. In the late 90s and early 2000’s, I seen’t some shit.

-Guy in a wheelchair with no legs having sex with a prostitute in the street. -A guy pulled a tooth out of his mouth and threw it at my car. -I saw a guy get shot in the stomach at a gas station over some sort of argument, -Countless people pooping in public. -A guy dressed up as a power ranger walking the streets. -A really fat guy slip on ice and his pants fell down and his entire giant ass crack was exposed. -A guy who lived in a school bus who had a pet goat. He was called goat boy. The goat was stolen and murdered.

The Earth is flat.

I got some gum on my shorts, look!

He’s a 2400 year old Wizard of the 12th Realm of Ephysiyies, Master of Light and Shadow, Manipulator of Magical Delights, Devourer of Chaos, Champion of the Great Halls of Terr’akkas. The elves know him as Fi’ang Yalok. The dwarfs know him as Zoenen Hoogstandjes. And he is also known in the Northeast as Gaismunēnas Meistar.

It also starts to fall apart. It’s not bad, but given the choice between this and no gum, I’ll choose no gum.

It stays in your balls forever!

Sigur Ros.

From one tiny universal blip to another, thank you for your message. Stay real.

Times were troubling since the day you were born, because since the day you were born you were going to die. Life has a 100% death rate. Make your life matter to you, because that’s all that matters.

Also, don’t read comments on articles. Stay off of social media. Those things are a mind cancer. Negativity bias and fear mongering drive profits by keeping your eyes on it. Find healthy stuff that makes you happy.

You are going to be ok.

Your eyes are a commodity. Choose wear they go. Anger and fear is what they need to keep your eyes on their media.

I have graphic design experience and a whole bunch of free time at work. I’d be willing to do whatever you need for free.

If you don’t laugh at your own joke, then it’s probably not funny.

Never heard of them

To work for some asshole and make just enough money to get by.

Everyone I know named Napoleon was responsible for the loss of the Battle at Waterloo, so I’d say that’s a cursed name.

When the Swiss pick a side.

Inkscape is fantastic. It’s easier to learn than Ai and you don’t have to pay for it.