Police officer at the mall:

Attention all units, emergency on theater level, suspect six foot two, brown hair. He is one gigantic motherfucker…

walks around with giant ass log on shoulder

Dis iz how ve do et in Austria. To hell vit rulez and safety!

That YouTube clip lol

“No no no. You have to shut up and let me cook.”

And Saint Attila raised the Hand Grenade up on high, saying, “O Lord, bless this Thy Hand Grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.” And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu—

With enough ketamine, you’ll definitely be able to reach Mars!

jumps around on stage like a dipshit

Totally

kneels down, bowing my head against the flat of her long sword

“By the Lady before whom this sanctuary is holy, I will be true and faithful, and love all which she loves and shun all which she shuns, according to the laws of God and the order of the world. Nor will I ever with will or action, through word or deed, do anything which is unpleasing to her, on condition that she will hold to me as I shall deserve it, and that she will perform everything as it was in our agreement when I submitted myself to her and chose her will.”

Then I’d take her out for pizza and bowling.

Because they’ve never had the senate. You need 60 votes to get past the fillabuster and to fix THAT you’d need Sinama and Manchin to agree to that.

You know what?

Take the day, fam. Go vote, get some ice cream, and have a mental health day. You’ve earned it.

SpongeBob be bussin’, no cap, fam.

I want that shark.

And a dachshund, lol

Buddy of mine growing up had one they named Crayon

“Number 1, you do the dicking. I’m tired and haven’t had my Earl Grey yet”- Jean-Luc probably

Nice!! Thanks! I have something to do Saturday morning before everyone gets up lol.

How did you get them? I would love that for my deck lol.

I will never forget the boot up sound of the ps1 lol. That shit is a core memory

That dude is fucked omg

And it becomes as big as a Ford Aerostar.

Captain America and Mjølner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me!

He doesn’t physically pick up the hammer in the comics. He uses his magnetic abilities to get around the weight and worthiness issue.

Fucking cheater.

Pretty much both.

Stormbreaker is completely different metal with no such restrictions placed on it, so anyone can pick it up.