Dear Can’s Subconscious,

Sorry I haven’t written to you lately. I’ve been so busy, but that’s no excuse. I hope you are well.

I was writing to ask a question: y u no pee? U scare? Y?

Sincerely,

WoahWoah

I don’t think this is medical conditions. I think it’s just people shy about urinating. I just didn’t realize how common it was.

No worries, I think a lot of people thought I was being an ass instead of honestly just having never thought about it. I wonder if it has something to do with growing up in a big family and playing sports and stuff. Like, I think I just became to desensitized to it. If I needed privacy to pee, I would probably wouldn’t have peed through all of high school and college lol.

The amount of time I’ve dumped a whizzer while someone was right next to me, talking to me, or once while two other people were in a tiny bathroom at a party… at bars where there was no urinal and no door on the stall… that last one was a pretty notorious bathroom, because like I said, the stall had no door, but also the door to the bathroom itself was a pair of those swinging doors like in wild west movies. I’ll admit having to take a shit while you could still see the people at the bar was pretty awkward. One of my favorite dive bars. 🤣

Totally agree. Or maybe there could be a little fig leaf dispenser by the urinals so all the shy guys can hide their junk from god whilst they micturate.

Oh everyone’s looking, bro!

Got it. Well, I’m sure it doesn’t help, but I don’t think anyone notices if someone is or isn’t making pee noise. I think that’s kind of the point of the comic, i.e., that never happens because no one is timing your piss cycle (I hope!).

Yeah, I just didn’t realize it was so common. Sorry, that sucks. Are you an otherwise confident and secure person?

I’ve heard jokes about it, but I didn’t think it was a widespread thing. Doesn’t the need to pee outweigh the fear of… well. Whatever the fear is I guess? What exactly is the fear?

Yes, the extreme pressure of… using a public restroom. 🙄

Do people really struggle this much to urinate? How insecure can you be to not be able perform a basic bodily function like this? I had no idea. Though, I do question why one of these two isn’t following basic urinal etiquette. One stall between, otherwise use a toilet, otherwise wash your hands first and then, if no one has moved, you’re allowed to ride side saddle.

Some dude used a urinal right next to me with five urinals available, and I stared at him until I finished. He never looked at me. Come to think of it, I don’t know if he started peeing until I was done, but that seems like an edge case. His fault though.

You’re a world-class moron.

😆

K.

What are you even talking about? The per capita death rates differ from what you’re posting (making up?) here. ​According to data from the World Health Organization (WHO), the death rate from alcohol use disorders in Germany is 9.2 per 100,000 population, whereas in the United States, it is 14.3 per 100,000 population.​​ That’s a substantial difference. Are you a recovering alcoholic or lose someone to alcohol or something? It’s fine that you are against alcohol, but you’re making false comparisons and citing false data to do so.

Your own Wikipedia link puts alcohol dramatically lower than cocaine and heroin in terms of dependence and harm. Were you raised by alcoholics or something? If so, sorry, that sucks.

You’re unironically putting alcohol on par with cocaine and heroin? You really missed your calling as a roller-pin-wielding prohibitionist by 100 years.

My god, it’s incredible you made it out alive.

To make it even more complicated, counties, of which states are composed, can also set the terms of alcohol use in their jurisdiction. There’s “dry” counties all around the US where alcohol cannot be legally purchased.

And then there are counties where public consumption is fine and prostitution is legal. So… idk. It’s a big country. Montana, just one of the states, is larger than Germany, and it’s only the 4th largest state. The largest state is over four times bigger than Montana.

No one is saying kids require you to drink. The idea that having a glass of wine while playing games with kids and other adults is very puritanical of you. Do you come from a family of alcoholics or something? You’ll be shocked to know many people also have an alcoholic beverage at dinner and their kids are there! 🤯

No…kid-ding. See what I did there?