• 15 Posts
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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: September 13th, 2023

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  • I’m in Oklahoma. I went in voluntary a few months ago for suicidal ideation (which I think is a rational reaction to the events of November…)

    They upgraded me to involuntary illegally (like, a single therapist accused me of lying when I said I was no longer suicidal, and made the call to hold me.) I had vape smoke blown in my face, was misgendered and assaulted by staff.

    I won’t call 988 or any service like that ever. There is no accountability or safety here


  • They don’t put you in jail - they put you in a “hospital” you can’t leave, which is basically a jail that pretends it helps you. Instead, you get maybe 15 minutes with a psychiatrist (I don’t understand how the one from my suicide attempt passed his TOEFL), who will prescribe you anti depressants. Leaving is contingent on agreeing to take these anti depressants. All of the other staff are random, uncertified people who have the legal right to physically assault you. These are the same people that decide whether to give you a grievance form after beating you up (which gets tossed in the trash anyway.)

    Research suggests that suicide rates go up after inpatient hospitalization. A substantial aspect of my PTSD is related to abuse as a child in inpatient facilities. I’m an adult that still has nightmares over this shit.


  • I think the default answer to any complicated question should be: “what recognizes human dignity and autonomy?”

    I am a radical feminist and have a lot of complicated beliefs about the nature of patriarchy, the artificial nature of sex stereotypes and roles etc… but I also know that there is something about me that makes me a “man.” I have always been a gay man. I cannot explain this in a way that makes sense in that pragmatic materialist sense. Maybe there is some difference in brain chemistry. Ultimately I don’t care. My drive is to be a gay man. I am happy as a gay man.

    Reality will always be more complicated than the constructs we use to model it. I’m team “be nice to people who aren’t hurting others” above all.


  • Then, after you get “saved” from suicide, they strip you of your rights and shove you in a cell for up to five days.

    And that attitude is what the staff will have towards you. You are there to be punished for daring to be suicidal and trying to reject the gift of life. You’ll probably lose your job after the hospital stay, and then get stuck with thousands in bills for the “treatment” (sitting in a room watching day time tv while you listen to people in psychosis or dementia getting the shit beaten out of them by the staff.)

    But this is a good thing! It’s so much better to be alive then not dead, that’s why we need to abuse suicidal people!



  • It’s a complicated problem. We’ve got an epistemological question that’s getting mixed up with medical conditions and psychology and the way that society treats the ways that human bodies can differentiate themselves. Exploring sex and gender is often looking at everything from genetics to anthropology to history to language to societal roles, which is cutting across too many disciplines for anyone to navigate perfectly.

    And then we have to look at people. We have to look at the way this uncertainty has been weaponized by the fascist project. This uncertainty is ultimately what transphobic violence is seeking to correct - to force an answer to the question.

    It is a scary prospect. We have to consider what it would look like to have a society without mandated gender roles, we have to consider what being “male” or “female” means about us as human beings, we have to figure out what it means to live “as a man” or “as a woman.” Are we really tabula rasa? Is childhood a resolution of the phallic crisis and oedipus complex? Why are some hobbies or professions more dominated by one gender over the other? What about the distribution of household labor?

    It’s a Gordian knot - there’s an appeal in just slicing the thing in half.



  • I think of it as relating to “operative definitions” when doing research.

    What are we using sex to describe? Labels are descriptive, not prescriptive. It is important to distinguish chromosomal sex in some contexts, or certain traits associated with SRY activation - but ultimately it’s a category that is useful sometimes but doesn’t ultimately govern reality.

    Literally no one takes philosophy of science classes lol.

    But as a trans man, I am “male” in some presentations. My body processes things differently on testosterone, in ways that may make it appropriate for me to be classed as male in some contexts. There are other contexts where I need to be treated under the “female” healthcare umbrella - eg, gynecological care.

    But for the context of my day to day life - what use does the appellation “female” have to me? What useful information about my reality does it give to you? We can be materialists, but our words aren’t material.


  • Agoraphobia is a really fun one. “Just go outside! You’ll feel better if you hang out with people!” I’d love to! I’d love for my brain to not put up a great big roadblock that says “you are not going to be able to go into Walmart” or “you cannot complete that piece of paperwork.” That’s the problem I have. If it was as simple as just doing the thing, I’d be doing the thing.






  • It taught me to recognize the value in a lot of trash and turned me into the Greek God of thrifting. I can turn a balloon, solo cup and some rubber bands into a “vortex cannon.” “Let’s just walk outside and draw pictures of bugs” is one of my favorite “lessons.” I’d keep free samples/supplies given out at teacher conferences - if I could get 5 or 6 different things, it worked well as “stations.”

    The poverty part I honestly can deal with. I’d be back in a heartbeat if it was possible.