There’s a real time and place for every human being to eat the sloppiest sandwich ever made. And it’s fucking delicious. Every time.

Onward to the paper, my noble steed!

Fuckin’ oversensitive dipshits. All of them. They can feel free to paddle their douche canoes as far away from me as possible.

Do we have clearance, Clarence?

I know. Different movie but I couldn’t resist.

Making new frens every day

The Bert’s Gambit

This comment hit me like a gut punch of dread.

And now I’ll think about it for years.

This is how The Battle of Wisconsin starts.

Hashtag producestrong

That brake check maneuver is going to haunt her for decades.

If you’ve never rolled over in laughter after someone rips The Big One, I will forever question your friendship.

Farts are tactfully hilarious bodily functions. Mad props, too, if you covertly crop dust an entire room.

Yes. American Pie - Summer Edition. Just as warm, but a little bit wetter.

Fight you? You wouldn’t even try fighting back except during the playoffs, Kareem!

Looks pretty neat!

The family pets disagree.

Oh my girth!

I hated laughing at this.

Oh, hey now… There’s nothing worth jawing about here /s