I’m if a stack of cold balls could get typhus. I contain multitudes.

Right? “I’ve been banned from enough communities on different topics that I can’t keep track! Could it be that I’m an asshat? No, it’s definitely the mods…”

A fun thing is that I don’t even have a uterus anymore but since I kept my ovaries, I still know when my period would’ve been because I still get emotional and hungry about it. Stupid body.

She says “what’s up and also do you have any turkey?”

Man, I’m not seeing any of those motherfuckers. They don’t warrant the time of day, let alone getting to disturb my peace. I’m just gonna make some good food and hang out with my mom and the dog and have a nice day.

Valid question. I haven’t eaten there in years.

Maybe Chick-fil-A wouldn’t give them a third sauce packet. Did you ever think maybe this person was doing their best in a sauce-deprived world?

Oh yeah, and the misunderstanding could be solved if the leads had one 5 minute conversation.

The latter is Lifetime.

Just add her falling in love with (and then subsequently blowing up?) a man in a flannel shirt and I think you could talk hallmark into it.

Wow how dare you? Big city career woman goes home to small town for the holidays and falls in love with her childhood sweetheart and dumps her evil fiance who worked on Christmas, big city career woman who swore off men falls in love and surprise! he’s actually the prince of a small but wealthy English-speaking country in Europe, and big city career woman goes home to small town for the holidays and saves one of the local businesses from foreclosure and falls in love with the owner who is also hot Santa are totally different stories.

I don’t think there’s necessarily anything wrong with that, it’s just not going to be compatible with everyone. I would never date anyone who didn’t prioritize travel at least a little, but that’s definitely not universal.

“Fun” fact, this is actually why my mom has no interest in camping as an adult. Her family was homeless a lot when she was a kid and her mom disguised it as a fun extended camping trip. The kids bought it for the most part, because the family really did camp for fun, and they were used to fishing for dinner and things, but she said as she got older, she realized things like the month long trip in November were because they lost their housing.

It could also just be women thinking, “I’d like to visit _____ when I’m able, I want my partner to go with me.” Working in a passport office, I’ve met a shocking number of men who have never left the US (or sometimes even the state) by choice. Then their wife or girlfriend wants to go to Mexico or something, and they come in talking about how they’re only doing it for her and they’d never travel if it was up to them.

Anyway, I’d consider traveling one of my hobbies even though I can’t afford to do it often - plenty of time is spent planning and looking at things to do, so it goes beyond just the few days of the trip.

Nah, my Catholic extended family always had a jug of Carlo Rossi (garbage wine sold in gallon jugs, for those lucky enough to be unfamiliar) at every family gathering. No one was ever worried about there being kids. Evangelicals are just lame.

She’s a rat, the fat is just making her head look shorter than it is.

(Also, for anyone concerned about abuse, she has a disorder that causes her to get fatty tissue deposits, she’s not obese.)

One of ours gets stuck on the 3 different sets of measuring cups. Why do we have 3 full sets? No one knows!

Well in that case, can Kevin sleep with me?

My coworker had a full hysterectomy in her late 30s for the same reason and she’s described it as basically a living hell for about a year. Just a complete nightmare where she felt like her body completely turned on her and she had no control over anything it was doing - hearing about it made my attitude about keeping my ovaries much more enthusiastic. BUT she was pretty much fully through menopause after that year, so the good news is that your wife’s situation is likely pretty temporary. The bad news is that a year can feel like much longer when things aren’t going well, and I’m guessing she can’t do any hormone replacement to ease her symptoms because of the cancer risk. I did keep my ovaries and I’m still having some hormonal nonsense (pseudo hot flashes are not making me real optimistic about the real thing, let me tell you), so I can only imagine how much that sucks.

The thing is, you’re probably not actually doing anything wrong, it’s just a total tsunami of fuckery in her body atm that’s making her feel that way. I would suggest marriage counseling, because it’s possible that a neutral third party can help your wife see that, even though she’s not totally in control of her body or feelings right now, she still doesn’t get to make you feel like shit and she might end up destroying a relationship she still wants once she’s past this stage. There’s no easy solution, though, it’s just everyone putting their heads down and pushing through it, unfortunately.

I’m a mosque. The loud noise is usually, “damn it!” when I do something incredibly graceful, like walk into a wall or accidentally throw my phone across the room.