I’m declaring war on Iran because the Ayatollah fucked up my McChicken ☝️ and we don’t like that 👐 they say sir how do you fuck up a McChicken and I tell them it’s too much sauce and you can’t do that

emergency perc purity ring

pay the gay unaway

the feds confiscated my laptop because I kept sending them extremist laughables

100 year old artifact

Ive seen these JD Vance facemorphs so many times that when I saw an actual image of him the other day I almost couldn’t recognise him

I’d respect it

Every other technique I’ve used to attract goth girls has failed so I’d be willing to try this

As far as cringe goes, I feel like it has some self awareness baked in, so it’s not the worst, but yeah nah if I saw a 40 year old man wearing this I’d wince a bit

but what about ball sport

Okay so let me think out loud

August is month 8

It takes 9 months for babby to formed

Okay so 9 months prior to August is…

Wait fuck does that include the first month

No wait yeah

So human mating season peaks in December

Makes sense.

In the north, it’s too cold to go outside and play ball sport, might as well impregnate partner.

In the south, it’s too hot to go outside and play ball sport, might as well impregnate partner.

So the solution to the declining birth rate is to criminalize ball sport

I will take my findings to the UN

Mr Stamina

I don’t know what it is, but if you tell me “You shouldn’t laugh at this because only 13 year olds laugh at this” before you show me something, I will involuntarily laugh 200% harder.

I imagine that’s not the best place to find a sample of clean penises

I didnt even know he was sick

Wash hands before boofing psychedelic mushroom

Rough, because my solution to fatigue is to drink enough caffeine to cause severe heart palpitations and chest burn

romanc

stop smoking marijuana

Melatonin is what makes people sleep

You’re thinking of melinoma

full-on dropping trousers, froggy squatting and pinching a fat loaf on someone else’s doorstep in the middle of the day