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Hey sexy mama, wanna kill all humans?
Are you a beaver? 'Cos DAM
(shoutout to the absolutely fantastic Sophie Corrigan who creates a lot of really beautiful art for bad pun lines like this one)
I’d be interested to know that myself as I’ve usually been so out of it quite what happened is unclear.
[silently hands over 3d puzzle]
👉👌
The longest relationship I ever had started this way: we were at a mutual friend’s house with a bunch of our friends. I introduced myself, then sat across the room from them, in a big comfortable chair, and I fell asleep while looking at them. For some reason they thought this was charming.
??? lmao
“I could pick up girls even in my sleep”
Are you a plates in a drawer or plates in a cupboard kind of person?
I’m sure it’ll work one of these days.
Drawer gang
cupboard, why?
No reason, it just says a lot about you as a person.
so, what can you say about me?
well for one that you’re probably taller than 1m20 :)
People put plates in drawers? I don’t think I’ve seen anyone do that ever
Hey are you trying to blind me? Cause dang your clothes are stunning
“don’t you let go”
Did it hurt when you fell down from heaven? Because you look pretty fucked up.
Pull my finger.
Im happy single so one of y’all can have this one.
Are you a cigarette? Cause I wanna get you lit and put your butt in my mouth.
Savage one. If you see two girls in a club, go over and ask the one you are NOT interested in if they’d like to dance. When they say yes, say go on then I’ll keep your friend company.
and whats the plan when they say no
Can you get hold of zip ties and how is your stomach for blood?
Lift and bonk later?
[rolls D20 in front of her or on video. Nat 1.] Okay here goes nothing - [following my worst pickup line]
A guy on Tinder sent my friend a Patrick meme that said “Is mayonnaise an ice breaker?” I, a big Spongebob nerd, told her to pick that guy. They’re married now.
