I just got ghosted by the girl I was talking to, I want to find another girl to talk to. This girl and I met at the gym, but I don’t want to be the guy that goes to the gym just to meet girls. I mean sure there’s the bar and Tinder, but I want a real relationship. I mean, I guess it’ll come to me.

  • RedditWanderer@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    the bird will never land on your ship if you constantly stand guard to catch it, instead improve your ship and sail into warmer waters; the bird will land while you are not looking

    • CGP Grey
    • Poiar@sh.itjust.works
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      8 months ago

      CGP Grey might be one of the most interesting people to ever have lived. I cannot get enough of his podcasts. I still miss Hello Internet dearly.

    • MentalEdge@sopuli.xyz
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      8 months ago

      I love this advice.

      Sadly if I had to expand on the analogy, I hate a warm and humid climate. I’ve learned to function in social situations, but never to be comfortable in them. I want nothing more than to be left alone by people I don’t know.

      I am painfully aware that to get to interact with more people I already know and like, I’ll first have to interact with people I don’t know, and might not like. And that makes it even harder to get over that hurdle. And my asocial ass is not actually that bothered by loneliness so I just don’t bother.

      The common advice is to do things you enjoy, and meet people who also enjoy those things, but my enjoyment of something is quite closely linked to how alone I get to be.

      If dealing with other people is involved, I just won’t be as into it.

      • RedditWanderer@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        The warmer waters could also mean a place of comfort for you, and by being in a place you like and being comfortable you are more likely to meet someone compatible. It also feels less like a chore because you don’t have to chase or get out of your comfort zone so much.

        I like to be alone, I hate when it gets too loud and can easily get overwhelmed by crowds. My wife and I spend plenty of time doing things in our own space or spending weeks apart. We both value alone time. Find yourself someone who values what you value.