At what step do you struggle the most?
My marriage. ^/s
Spouses can be such cock blocks smh.
I (w4w) don’t date any more, but my experience on dating apps was mostly:
- Women with the personality of a manilla folder
- Couples seeking unicorns
- Fully bearded cishet men posing as women
I’m quite social and comfortable talking to people, but struggled to find anyone that interested me. Though I’m in a relationship now :)
I have trouble wanting to invest all that energy to effectively reduce my own autonomy in the end.
this hits home.
Talking without making myself look stupid
Nah, just drop the feeling stupid part. The night I met my wife I had just one drink too many so I had turned off my ability to think I was stupid - and I ended up talking about Lord of the Rings lore. Which she loved. If I had listened to that part of myself I would have held back and thought it was stupid, and my entire life would have gone differently.
Now I want to hear about The Lord of the Rings lore
Honestly, social media… Facebook is just absolutely full of bullshit meme’s for every type of occasion, and clicking on a single one sends people down that rabbithole. Eg… Say a person has a breakup with a person who exhibits some narcissistic traits and then relates to a meme about it and clicks on it (or pause too long), next minute the feed is full of gender hating memes, groups and pages to feed that part of the brain, and I think it is incredibly unhealthy. It just seemed a lot easier to meet people before heads were filled with social media influence
oh my god reddit was the worst with this. “Oh my god he had a beer after work? He’s an alcoholic, you can do so much better, DUMP HIM. RED FLAG GET OUT”
Dating apps suck now. Thankfully, I met the right person and got rid of them.
Before smartphones, when comms on apps were more like emails, I had much better openings. I can’t be funny or interesting in a few sentences.
Better to have loved and gotten rid of, than never to have loved at all.
I think he meant getting rid of dating apps, not the partner
Nobody can. You get judged on your photos and the decision is already made before you type a single word. The conversation is just to find excuses to ghost
My wife.
You can date your wife
And should!
Meeting people as crazy and wacky as I am outside of online spaces. Yay, someone from Australia likes me!
I find meeting people at all to be the biggest hurdle.
Yeah, I pretty much only meet people from connections anymore. I don’t remember the last time I actually met someone because I went out of my way to talk to them. It sucks.
I currently hate my body and don’t feel comfortable dating until I like it again, as dating involves finding others who like your body (and other things about you, but still)
I’m sure there are people who would want to date me in my current body as well as my future (hopefully improved) body, but I just can’t summon any confidence while I feel like this.
Obviously there’s some mental health problems I need to work on too. I’m fortunate to have decent psychiatric care at this stage in my life and am slowly progressing in that area, and trying my damnedest to ramp up body improvement efforts.
I went to the gym today, at least. :)
I feel this.
I don’t have any love for myself, let alone spare any for someone else.
What helped me with that was “there’s a fetish for everything” which ended up correct, but I fucked up later.
Proud of you for hitting the gym 💪 or as a snowman ⛄️ would say: time to turn these sticks into logs 🥢🔜 🪵
Whether it’s January 2 or February 1.
ISO 8601 supremacy.
Best interpretation of the question.
We also just want to keep track of all these natural cycles that have no guarantee of having any reasonable ratio. Every calendar system except, like, Epoch is a little dumb because of that. It’s unavoidable.
Not being completely turned off dating in general by past experiences…
Face. After that maybe personality
Probably meeting people. I’m not a very outgoing person and when I do go out my hobbies tend to be 100% males. I also don’t use social media or dating apps. I have friends and relationships and I have no idea how I got them.
Its annoying because I feel like I have no agency I can’t just go meet people when I want to. I have to live my life and trust that I will eventually meet someone which has held true so far.
It’s a numbers game. Go to events where you are temporarily exposed to manageably sized batches of new people. One-time workshops and volunteering are great for this.
My dick is too big, I make too much money but I am only 6 foot 2
Geographical isolation.
