It’s not true, folks. The lying liberal media wants you to think he’d shag a settee. That he’d bone a book stand. That he’s creamied on the credenza.
Don’t trust them. My beautiful boy JD, he’d never do it! He’s chaste with the chaises. He’s never loved a loveseat.
My VP would never fuck furniture.
First it’s just the couch.
Then it’s the couch with your wife on it.
Then it’s your wife.
This is a documented progression of predatory behavior