On Fire.

The stuff stinks. If the devil has blood it would be tomato sauce.

Cheeseburger.

I don’t hate ketchup but there is always something else I would rather have including with fries.

A trash heap where it fucking belongs.

There isn’t a thing that you can put ketchup on that a good BBQ sauce or hot sauce isn’t better on. I will die on this hill.

Sausage gravy. Sprinkle some dots of ketchup on it and it’s tangy savory good.

cheese sandwich

The fish part of fish and chips. No thanks on the malt vinegar. Y’all can keep your dirty foot water away from my fishies thanks.

rice

Tater tots

I used to mix it in with fried rice that’d been left sitting out for too long and turned really dry. Gives it some moisture and a vinegary edge, but probably not for everyone, since ketchup’s trademark is stomping all over the subtle flavors of a dish.

When I was in elementary school, I’d dip my pizza crusts in ketchup at lunchtime. I still do that every now and then with Sriracha ketchup

Also, same elementary school lunch: on pizza days, they also used to give us a side of tricolor fusilli straight-up. Just plain pasta without even so much as a little olive oil. So, fuck it. It got blasted with 'chup.

Not me, but my girlfriend’s son (7) loves it on corn on the cob.

Hash browns

Bacon. Chips. Steak and kidney pie.

Hot dogs and Burgers

i have so many spare sachets of ketchup from mcdonalds, and recently i’ve been experimenting with them to make a good sauce to mix into plain noodles. ketchup, sweet soy sauce, paprika, chili oil, chili flakes, toss in some random spices, and that’s a good noodle sauce.

before finding that combination, i’ve gotten quite a few that were way less palatable.

my alternate answer is spaghetti, just to piss off the italians.