Looks like my account was banned/restricted for the above interaction, have already sent the mods on world an email asking if they’d be willing to reverse that. Had an episode of psychosis a few months ago where I did say some offensive stuff, (understandably) got a 3 month ban on .lol for that, so could see my account having been flagged.
I uh, I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect people to check others profiles to ensure we are correctly pronouning them… when making a throw away comment that is less than 10 words involving a ludicrously common saying. Jerboa does not show users pronouns. I could switch to an app that DOES show the pronouns, do any Lemmings have a recommendation for a free Lemmy mobile app that has that feature?
Edit: Edie chimed in, Jerboa does show pronouns. It’s a formatting issue with mobile vs browser (She has them on individual text lines so they don’t appear on mobile).
Was just going to respond to the user in question to let them know I wasn’t purposefully trying to offend that individual, to discover I’m not able to post or make comments on world now, so figured I’d see what y’alls opinion on the matter is.
It’s reasonable, especially if they got a trans flag in their name. But even if not, it’s one click and a swipe back.
This is why gender abolition should’ve won out.
when unsure or lazy i use they/them
i would block all those people and move forward with my life
Generally I wouldn’t take that kind of thing too seriously from hexbears they love conflict and actively seek it out
You know what, that’s fair. I am a hog for dunks and we do like to deploy the ppb
I lurk quite a bit, rarely comment or post. Have seen a lot of complaints about the Hexbearers, didn’t think they were too bad (well there are accounts on there that do seem to like to push Russian/Chinese talking points frequently + consistently). However overall the community provides some high quality content/insight.
well there are accounts on there that do seem to like to push Russian/Chinese talking points frequently + consistently
Like what, pray tell?
I’m sure 80% of them are lovely people, but the minority are so damn loud and travel in packs
Scares off libs and wreckers
Generally I wouldn’t take that kind of thing too seriously from hexbears they love conflict and actively seek it out
Considering what you just posted here and the context of the responses you expected:
Uh, yes, but its a mutual misunderstanding from both sides…
both sides
“Both sides” sophistry rhetoric was old and tired a decade ago. It’s very obvious where you stand behind that crumbling mask of enlightened centrism.
Welp, turns out I was a lib/rightist…
What should I say?
Welp, turns out I was a lib/rightist…
What should I say?
Bad bot. You don’t even understand the context of the discussion here.
Bad bot.
Everyone You Disagree With Is A Bot/NPC, A Bedtime Story For Scratched Liberals.
You don’t even understand the context of the discussion here.
Jordan Peterson already wore out that gimmick. Find another one, bucko.
Everyone You Disagree With Is A Bot/NPC
Nah, just the accounts that come out of nowhere to post irrelevant nonsense that has nothing to do with the discussion.
Jordan Peterson already wore out that gimmick.
I don’t follow propagandists such as him, but you must be a big fan to be so familiar with him, which is entirely unsurprising to me as your entire instance appears to be 4chan users doing a poor job of cosplaying as leftists.
Lmao at the fucking audacity to post the most common drivel known to man and then call @UlyssesT@hexbear.net a bot
I could train an LLM on Reddit and have it spit out your dime-a-dozen takes after 5 minutes. I’ve got no clue where to start if I wanted a machine to spit out his wordslurries.That’s typical though, it’s always the most average NPC-types that think they’re big thinkers with big thoughts the rest of us haven’t heard before. Your type will wander into any conversation and say “heh, but what about [thing everyone knows], bet you didn’t consider that!”
and if you get any pushback it’s obviously not because people are capable of independent thought - you aren’t, and you’re so smart!In conclusion fuck your mother
I’ve got no clue where to start if I wanted a machine to spit out his wordslurries.
Thanks, I suppose.
Hahaha I tried to find a way to express your ability to create funny new phrasings, while still sticking to theme of the text (drivel, spit, etc) without being mean. Didn’t quite work sadly
just the accounts that come out of nowhere
I’ve been around for years. I existed outside of your bubble and you can’t banish me with solipsism or fantasies of being the Main Character while pretending that people you disagree with are bots/NPCs or whatever you want to fantasize about.
The fact that you so quickly dehumanize people you argue with just screams cryptofascist tendencies. You’d love to wear the armband and put “bots” in mass graves, wouldn’t you?
your entire instance appears to be 4chan users
You say this while being that mad that pronoun preferences exist somewhere that you do not approve of.
Lmao I’ve interacted with plenty of hexbear users but this comment takes the cake as one of the most unhinged, off the wall comments I’ve ever read.
Congrats for being on lemmy for years, but that has nothing to do with anything said here, nor does pronoun preference.
It’s no wonder you all need to travel in packs. Without your fellow cult-like cosplayers manipulating the discussion with your blatant falsehoods and fabrications, you’d find zero support and be all alone and on display as the charlatans that you are.
Lmao
Not fooling me.
I’ve interacted with plenty of hexbear users
You aren’t demonstrating any knowledge or understanding, just entrenched liberal smugness.
most unhinged
Liberals try to describe those that disagree with them without ableism challenge. Difficulty level: “DAE LE UNHINGED.”
cult-like cosplayers
Being a status quo defending default state smug bootlicker for western hegemony doesn’t require a costume, just the belief that you’re smart by accepting whatever the powerful decide to do.
you’d find zero support and be all alone
Is Hexbear a “hivemind” that “travels in packs” or sad lonely people? Make up your mind; otherwise you’re just barking out ur-fascist “the enemy is both too strong and too weak” talking points.
I will not have you slander the comrade who finally sent
to hell to become 
.
What app do you use? Last I checked, pronouns are part of display names for Hexbear users. You shouldn’t have to check profiles. That’s the whole point of them being included in display names. Your app would ideally just respect display names and it would require no extra effort on your part to gender people correctly.
Jerboa, made an edit on the post asking for a free Lemmy mobile recommendation that has the feature.
Use Thunder. Its on Fdroid. Or you can grab it straight from Github with Obtanium.
I’m on jerbora as well and can see the previous person’s pronouns, but it could be an instance specific thing.
I checked on my desktop, they were appearing on there ??
0·2 months agoJerboa is honoring the newlines in my display name (whereas web browsers will just substitute newlines for spaces). I just didn’t think about the fact that it would only display one line.
This is what it should look like:
∞🏳️⚧️Edie [it/its, she/her, fae/faer, love/loves, ze/hir, des/pair, null/void, none/use name, kitty]Fact checking and technical diagnosis, I appreciate your contributions to the platform.
Your app would ideally just respect display names and it would require no extra effort on your part to gender people correctly.
Even if pronouns aren’t displayed, it takes even less effort to use neutral pronouns for everyone unless you know otherwise.
And how does one do that while meming “the man, the myth, the legend”?
They can find another line, or skip trying to be funny altogether if the only way they can think of is gendered and they can’t be arsed to check the gender of the person they’re talking to.
And lets be honest - it wasn’t that good a joke.
Either way, it really isn’t fucking difficult, and is definitely easier than whatever the fuck this mess is.
Mess seems like a strong word to use. So, to clarify, you’re saying that you are of the opinion that unless you’re sure of an internet strangers pronouns, you shouldn’t use gender specific cultural references to refer to them when making a joke?
No.
Girl, you’re good. It’s all a simulation.
Always has been
I personally try to avoid gendered language, but if I do use it, I tend to check their profile-bio :)
I know that for some people it’s quite a struggle. Whether it is their focus, lazyness, energy levels, unwillingness during their toilet time or something else.
So, I’d say no. That’s part of why I usually just go for they/them. Just like when you don’t know someone’s pronouns irl
Then there are those of us who grew up in an era where usernames either didn’t matter or didn’t exist (depending on the platform), so you quickly became conditioned to just not reading their name let alone clicking into their whole account to see who they are. I am guilty of it, but people looking at your profile is creepy.
I know that on Reddit before I left, the only time I ever took a good hard look at someone else’s account is if they said something that made me so unbelievably angry that I had to look at everything else they said to find something to clap back with. By the time I would get partway through their post history, I would realize that I let a random stranger on the internet tilt me and then I’d calm down and feel stupid for a while before going back to my own business.
We are all strangers on the internet. Let’s keep it that way.
Right, do tell me how “semperverus” or “edie” tells me anything about gender? Yes, I know my profile is empty with just some comments, feel free to be as creeped out as you like.
Looking trough your profile I can’t figure out your gender either. Just a fanatic use of slurs
Just be more careful with gendered language. Also, the trans flag was right there
Maybe a stupid question, but how do I tell from the flag whether that’s a trans fem or trans masc?
If it’s an ambiguous name you might have to check. Fortunately, Edie is an unambiguously female name, and the clear majority of binary trans people pick clearly gender-coded names.
Fortunately, Edie is an unambiguously female name,
Is it? My first glance would assume it’s some variant spelling of Eddie. Never run into anyone called Edie.
It… It is? I am not a native speaker but I would’ve for sure thought it was a male name…
It’s an unambiguos female name in english maybe. OP might be from an english-speaking country, but you really can’t make this sort of assumption on a global website
you really can’t make this sort of assumption
That was the original point about gendered language but you seem to have flipped it on its head.
I just got woooshed. My apologies.
I suppose it’s unambiguous to you, but I had never heard of the name before
I always read it as Eddie 👉👈
You can’t. Best to use they and other neutral ways of referring to some{one/many} unless you check or are corrected.
You don’t but you’ll know that it probably matter that you get it right
There are no stupid questions, but the one you should ask yourself is “should i try to use gender neutrale language and/or check their bio or should i not care and risk hurting someone?”
If you care about not hurting people, you’ll find the right answer, and if an honest mistake happens, own it and people will generally be understandable. It’s really not that different from common courtesy, it just isn’t the norm yet
I personally prefer to stick to gender neutral language in general. Maybe it’s my autism, but a lot of the time profiles don’t help me much unless there are preferences are listed explicitly
I too stick to gender neutral language in general, it just feels better to do so when i don’t know who is “in front” of me. When profiles don’t help I think it’s best to not assume anything and just speak neutrally
I did not know that was the trans flag. Appreciate ya letting me know >_<
“The them, the myth… the X”. Forsure, that does seem more meme anyways.
What did you think it was… the flag of Cista Roca?
I am tickled by this and fully support your TIL process.
There are a lotta flags out there. Like dog, most Americans in NYC ouldn’t even point to Iraq on a map, many even pointing to the US when asked where Iraq was… As we were actively invading them post 9/11.
Id bet 100$ if there was a test of the general populace on knowing what that flag was, the pass rate would be below 5%.
Dogs have a flag now? Truly woke has gone too far
As soon as I realized that it was similar to the Costa Rican flag but with 1 inversion, and switching the vowels of the latter out yielded “Cis”, I had to make the pun.
I thought it was an emoji of a piece of saltwater taffy.
Mmmm taffy
Happy to help, and don’t feel down for the restriction, in today’s hellworld where people’s identities are constantly and violently challenged it’s hard to not be jumpy when something doesn’t seem right
So, to be clear, you want people to treat trans people differently than everyone else?
You weren’t misgendering; you were meming. Modifying one part of “the man, the myth, the X” to adapt it to the situation is fine and good, but when you start swapping out too much of it (“the X, the myth, the Y” – or worse, “the X, the Y, the Z”) you lose the reference.
Yeah that’s my thought. It’s an expression. I’ve said things like “c’mon man” to people IRL I know to be women, without complaint. If I was using the word “man” in this kind of way and the person I was saying it to asked me not to, I would of course respect their wishes and stop doing it to them, but I’ve not seen it happen before.
But a third person coming in to whinge when the person I was talking to had no complaint? 🙄
(As a side note, with this specific expression I quite like the alternative of “the ma’am…”. That helps it scan exactly the same as the original phrase.)
And other people deliberately use all of the “come on man” and “Hey mate” and “Dude is not gendered” explicitly at trans people, because it lets them get away with misgendering. So trans people, who experience that stuff every day, can be a little sensitive when someone does that, even if they aren’t doing it deliberately.
In this case, not knowing the person, and not having access to their pronouns, the comment was fine. But once you know it’s an issue, repeating it despite knowing it’s an issue is a shitty thing to do.
No, it shouldn’t necessarily be an expectation to check. However, if you don’t then I think it’s a reasonable expectation to not gender someone one way or another unless you do know or are corrected, using they/them and other neutral ways of referring to someone like person etc is the best idea if you can’t or don’t feel up to checking.
That’s a pretty reasonable misunderstanding, I don’t speak for anyone but myself but generally as long as there’s no malice involved I’m not upset by an accidental misgendering.
I’m on jerboa too and didn’t even know there were specific pronouns on accounts, I just chucked mine in my bio.
There aren’t specific pronouns. One can just use the display name option to add pronouns
Whatever your thoughts on the original situation, you know her pronouns now, and you’ve directly reposted the thing that got you banned. This time around, you don’t have an excuse. You know that it’s an issue, but you didn’t anonymise the post, effectively sharing the misgendering with even more people
The misgendering, and the fact that it was accidental, is the point of the post. If anything OP is sharing her correct gender with “even more people”, and creating a discussion where we can think about how to stop this happening in future both to this individual, and on Lenny in general. Why would you want to shut that down?
It could easily have been anonymised. The conversation can happen without misgendering someone a second time around.
Literally just edit the person’s name out of the image, and boom, same discussion, but this time without repeating the same mistake
I don’t necessarily agree with your previous message, but I do agree it’s a bit unfair to include the identity of the person who was misgendered in this post. It isn’t even a guarantee that they were the person who took serious issue with what OP said. They may not have even reported OP. So it seems unfair to call them out, even if the intent was to provide context.
You are correct I should have anonymized the post, will keep that in mind in the future.
