It took almost 2 fucking years after my first initial appointment to get properly medicated.
I’d literally kill myself if I was forced to do it all again.
You “just go see a doctor”–folk have no idea how fucking difficult it is to 1). actually be seen by a competent doctor, 2). be taken seriously, 3). and actually receive treatment for mental health stuff.
That’s not even including the whole “getting out of a shit enough headspace to actually do all that stuff in the first place.”
Unmedicated me felt like wading through hell.
Be kind to those with different chemistry. Shit sucks.
Even once I had a great doctor who knew what I had, it still took nearly two years to find a medication that worked for me with side-effects that I could tolerate. It’s a long frustrating journey.
I want medication for my ADHD and instead the doctors I would see kept trying different antidepressants. None of them helped. In fact most just added more problems, like not being able to get an erection, weight gain, and fatigue. I would tell them and they would either switch to a different antidepressant or up the dosage.
I know the cause of my depression and I want to treat that; not the fucking symptoms of depression itself. But I also have shitty insurance that’s only accepted by 2 different networks of health care where I am, and they are so understaffed for the mental health shit that making an appointment anywhere is always 6 to 8 months away, and even if you show up the doctor might not.
My GP called to mock and say she hadn’t called the crisis help for an appointment yet. Two weeks she let fly by. No doubt more if it wasn’t for a family member calling her.
My first GP phonecall to get an in-person appointment resulted in a tiny piece of paper with suicide/help hotlines, and an ADHD form.
I was worried about ADHD and Bipolar. I wasn’t myself. At all. It got pretty bad.
After an in person appointment and me failing to fill in my form (edit: or not filling it in correctly, I guess?), a referral to a psychiatrist wasn’t justified and I heard no more.
I eventually seeked private healthcare for this.
And proper private healthcare, not that fucking “better health” or whatever that YouTube ad is. From actual doctors from an actual clinic.
After a 1 hour consultation and £300, I felt listened to.
The psychiatrist identified both ADHD and Bipolar traits, but said they were not significant enough compared to the depression. Treat the depression first, then circle back to the other possible issues.
6 months on SNRIs, and I can’t believe the difference.
I don’t feel like I’m struggling with memory loss. The traits I thought could be ADHD (hyperfocus sessions and yet easily distracted - exclusively) became manageable. The every day tasks suddenly were accomplishable. I haven’t tracked my mood very closely, but I’m either on a 2 month hypomania streak or this is actually just what I’m normally like and I can’t remember what feeling normal actually is. So maybe any bipolar I do have isn’t impacting my life so much.
It took 6 months between the GP disappointment and seeking private care for it.
It’s the best fucking £300 I’ve ever spent.
The reason I got there, as opposed to accepting the GPs diagnosis, was a colleague talked about their experience. They talked about their depression, a failed visit to a GP, seeking a 2nd opinion, getting meds, and turning their life around.
They said “don’t stop until you feel heard. Don’t stop until you agree with the doctor”.
I’m very sorry for you.
FWIW, I had the totally opposite experience. Went to the nearest GP with no appointment, rattled down a long list of physical symptoms, then a long list of things that currently distress me. You could almost hear it click when they connected the dots. Got the good stuff immediately and it changed everything. Maybe it’s something to do with socialized medicine (I live in Europe), IDK.
It took almost 2 fucking years after my first initial appointment to get properly medicated.
I’d literally kill myself if I was forced to do it all again.
You “just go see a doctor”–folk have no idea how fucking difficult it is to 1). actually be seen by a competent doctor, 2). be taken seriously, 3). and actually receive treatment for mental health stuff.
That’s not even including the whole “getting out of a shit enough headspace to actually do all that stuff in the first place.”
Unmedicated me felt like wading through hell.
Be kind to those with different chemistry. Shit sucks.
Even once I had a great doctor who knew what I had, it still took nearly two years to find a medication that worked for me with side-effects that I could tolerate. It’s a long frustrating journey.
I want medication for my ADHD and instead the doctors I would see kept trying different antidepressants. None of them helped. In fact most just added more problems, like not being able to get an erection, weight gain, and fatigue. I would tell them and they would either switch to a different antidepressant or up the dosage.
I know the cause of my depression and I want to treat that; not the fucking symptoms of depression itself. But I also have shitty insurance that’s only accepted by 2 different networks of health care where I am, and they are so understaffed for the mental health shit that making an appointment anywhere is always 6 to 8 months away, and even if you show up the doctor might not.
And that’s not even taking into account the miseries of:
1: Fighting with insurance to let you have what you desperately need at a price that wouldn’t bankrupt you.
2: Fighting with your pharmacy over prescription issues.
3: Dealing with sudden nationwide shortages.
Fuck…
It took me 2 years to build up the inertia to actually call a doctor.
This^
My GP called to mock and say she hadn’t called the crisis help for an appointment yet. Two weeks she let fly by. No doubt more if it wasn’t for a family member calling her.
My first GP phonecall to get an in-person appointment resulted in a tiny piece of paper with suicide/help hotlines, and an ADHD form.
I was worried about ADHD and Bipolar. I wasn’t myself. At all. It got pretty bad.
After an in person appointment and me failing to fill in my form (edit: or not filling it in correctly, I guess?), a referral to a psychiatrist wasn’t justified and I heard no more.
I eventually seeked private healthcare for this.
And proper private healthcare, not that fucking “better health” or whatever that YouTube ad is. From actual doctors from an actual clinic.
After a 1 hour consultation and £300, I felt listened to.
The psychiatrist identified both ADHD and Bipolar traits, but said they were not significant enough compared to the depression. Treat the depression first, then circle back to the other possible issues.
6 months on SNRIs, and I can’t believe the difference.
I don’t feel like I’m struggling with memory loss. The traits I thought could be ADHD (hyperfocus sessions and yet easily distracted - exclusively) became manageable. The every day tasks suddenly were accomplishable. I haven’t tracked my mood very closely, but I’m either on a 2 month hypomania streak or this is actually just what I’m normally like and I can’t remember what feeling normal actually is. So maybe any bipolar I do have isn’t impacting my life so much.
It took 6 months between the GP disappointment and seeking private care for it.
It’s the best fucking £300 I’ve ever spent.
The reason I got there, as opposed to accepting the GPs diagnosis, was a colleague talked about their experience. They talked about their depression, a failed visit to a GP, seeking a 2nd opinion, getting meds, and turning their life around.
They said “don’t stop until you feel heard. Don’t stop until you agree with the doctor”.
I’m very sorry for you.
FWIW, I had the totally opposite experience. Went to the nearest GP with no appointment, rattled down a long list of physical symptoms, then a long list of things that currently distress me. You could almost hear it click when they connected the dots. Got the good stuff immediately and it changed everything. Maybe it’s something to do with socialized medicine (I live in Europe), IDK.