“I procrastinated. I need impulse control” is kind of tell-don’t-show compared to some of this author’s other works, e.g. the “I’m early. I’m basically a trendsetter” comic. Shortform typically has to mix wacky and deep to compel (e.g. Strange Planet defamiliarizes the mundane)
Maybe a more interesting presentation here could be:
2:40AM Man, I should sleep.
3:25AM Okay, I’ll sleep at 3:30.
3:32AM Nah, I need to sleep at a round-numbered time. Guess I’ll wait til 4.
6:00AM Fuck.
or something more relatably specific/less straightly told
edit: hopefully less mean
Cute line art but unimaginative storytelling.
“I procrastinated. I need impulse control” is kind of tell-don’t-show compared to some of this author’s other works, e.g. the “I’m early. I’m basically a trendsetter” comic. Shortform typically has to mix wacky and deep to compel (e.g. Strange Planet defamiliarizes the mundane)
Maybe a more interesting presentation here could be:
or something more relatably specific/less straightly told