• loobkoob@kbin.social
    0·
    1 year ago

    My usual go-to is to ask what their latest/current obsession is. It works really well for a few reasons:

    • it’s nice and simple to ask - it doesn’t require a monologue/wall of text to set up, and it doesn’t require you to know anything about them to ask it;
    • it’s both as personal and as low-stakes as they want it to be. They can give very intimate, in-depth answers if they feel like it, or they can just mention something like the latest film they enjoyed. There’s no risk of making them uncomfortable by asking it;
    • it lets you filter out boring people who don’t really take interest in anything;
    • assuming they do have interests, it often gives you plenty of opportunities to dive into deeper conversation;
    • it’s often engaging for them because they get to talk about something they’re passionate about;
    • it’s often interesting for you because people talking about things they’re passionate about is awesome (and often attractive).
    • it’s pretty much always relevant and fresh because their latest obsession will change over time. This makes it particularly great for things like dating sites/apps because people’s bios will often be out of date and/or they’ll have talked about the things mentioned in their bio so much that they’re kind of sick of them.

    I’ve actually had multiple people on dating sites tell me how great a question they think it is, and that they’re going to use it themselves in the future. So obviously it’s not just me who thinks it’s a great question!

  • CosmicSploogeDrizzle@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    1 year ago

    So what do you like to do for fun? Or, What are some of your hobbies?

    I find these much better than “so what do you do for work?”, which is what I’m asked constantly. “Yes, person who I don’t know, let me discuss work during my free time with you.”

    • dingus@lemmy.worldEnglish
      0·
      1 year ago

      This is one of the questions that gives me the most social anxiety when meeting new people. It stresses me out because I don’t have any conventional hobbies. I don’t think dicking around on Discord, Lemmy, and YouTube really counts as much of a hobby.

      • CosmicSploogeDrizzle@lemmy.worldEnglish
        0·
        1 year ago

        I mean what Discords do you participate in? What Lemmy communities do you follow? What videos on YouTube do you like to watch?

        You can reframe this and say, “I like to participate in online chat forums about the latest gaming news and technology (discord). I look for cool recipes and cooking techniques (Lemmy cooking community). And I love trying to find new funny comedians to listen to (YouTube).” I think if you narrow it down to the interests you enjoy, rather than “dicking around online” you’ll find that you have interesting things to talk about.

        Obviously those examples are my own, but I’m sure you use those platforms because they feed you certain content that you enjoy.