• Elvith Ma'for@feddit.org
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      4 days ago

      There are a few of them. There’s also

      Phoney Phonetics.

      One reason why I cannot spell,
      Although I learned the rules quite well
      Is that some words like coup and through
      Sound just like threw and flue and Who;
      When oo is never spelled the same,
      The duice becomes a guessing game;
      And then I ponder over though,
      Is it spelled so, or throw, or beau,
      And bough is never bow, it’s bow,
      I mean the bow that sounds like plow,
      And not the bow that sounds like row -
      The row that is pronounced like roe.
      I wonder, too, why rough and tough,
      That sound the same as gruff and muff,
      Are spelled like bough and though, for they
      Are both pronounced a different way.
      And why can’t I spell trough and cough
      The same as I do scoff and golf?
      Why isn’t drought spelled just like route,
      or doubt or pout or sauerkraut?
      When words all sound so much the same
      To change the spelling seems a shame.
      There is no sense - see sound like cents -
      in making such a difference
      Between the sight and sound of words;
      Each spelling rule that undergirds
      The way a word should look will fail
      And often prove to no avail
      Because exceptions will negate
      The truth of what the rule may state;
      So though I try, I still despair
      And moan and mutter “It’s not fair
      That I’m held up to ridicule
      And made to look like such a fool
      When it’s the spelling that’s at fault.
      Let’s call this nonsense to a halt.”

      - Attributed to Vivian Buchan, 1966