Once I was in the train, minding my own business, reading an unusual, interesting book. The guy seating in front of me noticed it and we started talking. It turned out, we live in the same city. We both were relatively new there.
FF a week. We went out to get some burgers. Talked about basically everything. We had what could only qualify as a wonderful time together. Chatted for hours, even talked about travelling together to a country I know relatively well and he’d like to visit.
Where I live, split checks are custom. I always hated them, so thinking (wrongly, as it’d turn out) we’d see each other again very soon, I paid for the whole bill.
Before going home, I even cited Casablanca’s well known ‘beginning of a long friendship’ line.
Never heard from him after that. When I tried to reach out, only a half-hearted bs ‘oh sorry, I’m so bad at replying texts’ came.
Never saw him again.
Really shattered my confidence in people, and myself.
He might have thought you were romantically interested in him, wasn’t interested, and didn’t know how to communicate that without being worried he might offend you.
There’s this concept of a relationship escalator and everybody rightly shits on how much it fucks things up on the back end of erotic relationships.
But in pretty much every kind of new relationship, whether it’s business, friendship, family, or romance, people expect to increase their commitments gradually, in coordination with the other person.
Yes, this means that most people looking to make new friends and lovers expect you to act a little less excited about getting to know them than you actually are. 🤷🏻♀️
Actually, the only way I’ve been able to make sense of what happened is thinking that he might have been interested in me, correctly sensed I’d never be, and didn’t want to be hurt.
maybe hes scared to develop any further relationship with you bc hes depressed and scared to get close to anyone, so he just dipped? i know that type of person, its me
Once I was in the train, minding my own business, reading an unusual, interesting book. The guy seating in front of me noticed it and we started talking. It turned out, we live in the same city. We both were relatively new there.
FF a week. We went out to get some burgers. Talked about basically everything. We had what could only qualify as a wonderful time together. Chatted for hours, even talked about travelling together to a country I know relatively well and he’d like to visit.
Where I live, split checks are custom. I always hated them, so thinking (wrongly, as it’d turn out) we’d see each other again very soon, I paid for the whole bill.
Before going home, I even cited Casablanca’s well known ‘beginning of a long friendship’ line.
Never heard from him after that. When I tried to reach out, only a half-hearted bs ‘oh sorry, I’m so bad at replying texts’ came.
Never saw him again.
Really shattered my confidence in people, and myself.
Angus, if you’re out there. WTF man. Why.
He might have thought you were romantically interested in him, wasn’t interested, and didn’t know how to communicate that without being worried he might offend you.
There’s this concept of a relationship escalator and everybody rightly shits on how much it fucks things up on the back end of erotic relationships.
But in pretty much every kind of new relationship, whether it’s business, friendship, family, or romance, people expect to increase their commitments gradually, in coordination with the other person.
Yes, this means that most people looking to make new friends and lovers expect you to act a little less excited about getting to know them than you actually are. 🤷🏻♀️
Actually, the only way I’ve been able to make sense of what happened is thinking that he might have been interested in me, correctly sensed I’d never be, and didn’t want to be hurt.
maybe hes scared to develop any further relationship with you bc hes depressed and scared to get close to anyone, so he just dipped? i know that type of person, its me