But really: “ “ -Gordon Freeman

“Somehow”. The emperor returned somehow. See, tidily wrapped up in one word.

The ice cream truck in my area plays the calliope version of “It’s a Small World” every summer, every day, and I want to burn it all down when I hear it. Alternatively, you could plays sounds that are above the adult frequency of hearing if they have children. The kids will be super annoyed and the adults will have no idea it’s even happening. Look up the “mosquito tone”.

D rink yo ur ov alt ine

“So that’s one McBorscht and a Supersized Failed Missile Launch, amiright guys? ROFL”

“Ugh, I’m so sick of this guy’s shit.”

“Your missiles do suck, tho.”

“The pointy end goes into the other man.”

I knew nothing of the game and presumed as a “witcher” I’m supposed to kill witches. Be, um, …selective.

Cobra Kai Jr.

Baby looked at you?

Have you ever listened to Zaireeka appropriately? I haven’t, but that must be a headache to line up correctly.

My niece and nephew loved the “this guy” gag. What’s got two thumbs and thinks you’re the coolest? THIS GUY! and point to yourself with your thumbs.

RealDoll has entered the chat.

🔥b00bs🔥 feel like bags of sand 💯

Napoleon Dynadidn’t

Over half the congregation can’t find the church.

And did you love it too much, baby?

It’s 9AM on a Saturday And I am dropping a deuce There’s a piano sitting next me My bowels are sloppy and loose

“Maybe a bit too relatable?” - Billy Joel (probably)

Ah, yes. Mozzarella. Fruit of the udder.

Stop.

Faburgé