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Cake day: June 16th, 2023

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  • iknowitwheniseeit@lemmynsfw.comtomemes@lemmy.worldEvery. Time.
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    2 months ago

    Jerry: “Aren’t you going to see what the message is?”

    George: “Nah.”

    Kramer: “Why not? It could be important!”

    Jerry: “It’s not like you to ignore a message…”

    George: “Okay, okay! I’ll tell you. I was sitting at home.”

    Jerry: “Doing what?”

    George: “Nothing.”

    Kramer: “Oh yeah! I love doing nothing! I love it!”

    Jerry: “Nothing? Sounds boring.”

    George: “Spoken like an amateur. I have it down to an art.”

    Kramer: “We should compare notes!”

    Jerry: “Anyway, then what happened?”

    George: “I get a text from this girl I had lunch with.”

    Jerry: “Lunch? Like a date? A” lunch date?"

    George: “I don’t know, I don’t know! How can you know? Who suggests lunch when someone asks them out? I don’t know, but she did!”

    Kramer: “Yikes!”

    Jerry: “Okay, so you get this text message.”

    George: “That’s right.”

    Jerry: “From the lunch maybe date maybe not woman.”

    George: “That’s right.”

    Jerry: “What does it say?”

    George: “What are you doing?”

    Jerry: “I’m asking what the message said!”

    George: “I know! The message said, ‘What are you doing?’”

    Jerry: “Ooooo. Okay. And?”

    George: “So I sent her a reply, that said ‘nothing’.”

    Kramer: “Classic mistake.”

    George: “Well I wish I had known! How am I supposed to know?!”

    Jerry: “I don’t get it. What’s the mistake?”

    George: “After I told her that I wasn’t doing anything, she called me!”

    Jerry: “On the phone? What for?”

    George: “To talk!”

    Jerry: “About what?”

    George: “Nothing! I wanted to do nothing, not talk about nothing!”

    Kramer: “You got yourself a phone talker.”

    George: “A phone talker!”

    Jerry: “Seems like it. So what are you going to do?”

    George: “What can I do? I’m going to have to tell her talking on the phone causes me migraines. It’s the only way…”

    Kramer and George leave. Jerry sees a message from Elaine that says, “What are you doing?” He puts the phone down.







  • iknowitwheniseeit@lemmynsfw.comtoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldBr*t*sh
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    3 months ago

    The Scots are a violent, savage people. I was attacked there and beaten, and everyone I met on the rest of my week stay regaled me with stories of people they knew who had been similarly brutalized. “Oh yeah my sister got a kicking last week.” “My mate Barry tried to pull some geezers off a bird and then she helped them give him a kicking!” And on and on. Amazingly even more vicious than the English, which hardly seemed possible.