First off, I am genuinely happy to hear that you’ve managed to find some stability and that you have loving souls around you! I wish you and everyone you love nothing but the best! 🤗

Second, as related to my hedonistic nihilism… well… not quite:))

I have started to accept a bit of hedonism in my life for mental health reasons in the past years (I’ve been raised as a tool, not as a human being), but I’m not nihilistic. I don’t stress out about how long I have and the magnitude of my actions anymore, sure, but I am passionate about what there is. I love life (maybe even too much at times), I love my passions and interests, I love the wonders of existence, and I believe it’s ultimately awesome that we’re here to see the unfolding of the Universe. I also hate how bad we’ve made things for ourselves and the amount of injustice and inequality makes me sadder and angrier than I’ve ever been. And I will keep trying until I die to contribute whatever I can to shifting humanity back on a reasonable and empathetic trajectory.

I’ve been doing the 9-to-5 ever since I got out of Uni and managed to build a liveable career out of failing upward (I take full advantage of my intuition). I managed to squeeze into the housing market before prices started exploding here as well and own my own hole in the ground (we’re about 20 years behind America in terms of socio-economic trajectory, but we’re starting to speedrun the degradation, it seems), haven’t taken a proper vacation since 2013 (more than a week and actually going somewhere other than my living room), etc., etc.

I used to worry about everything, I used to carry the pressure of being a good little worker ant, of being the best specimen possible, keeping my mouth shut and working my ass off. And all I got for it is high blood pressure, profound loneliness, Meniere’s disease and teeth which I’ve chewed half to shit, and I’m barely in my mid 30s. Had my first (and only, so far) heart attack at 26.

The lockdowns gave me the context I needed to snap out of it. Had the privilege of working from home (QA guy) and spent the entire lockdown pretty much alone in my apartment. And I kept thinking about things, and realised the pain I caused myself for basically no damned reason, just because we’re forced to play this stupid little game of Capitalism since the moment we’re squeezed out into the world. I actually sort of died back then. At least a part of me did, the part which held any and all concern for trying to fit into the system. Then I could finally see my core values again, the things which were important to me. And keeping track of time really wasn’t on that list, to the point where I stopped celebrating or even caring about my birthday, or New Year’s.

Now I just try to live by my principles. I’ll give it my best shot at being myself and following my values, but I won’t have a psychotic break at the end if I don’t manage to be the uber-me, nor do I care that life will kill me sooner or later. Nearly did that myself through trying to live it by the terms set by society. It’s impossible to unsee the Absurd once it smacks you in the face.

Granted, not something which works for everyone. But I don’t think such a shift in mentality is a privilege necessarily.

I mean, the whole point of my perspective now is that it really doesn’t matter what day, or month, or year it is, all that matters is what happens. Why count the time which passes and try to guess the time that’s left, when in spite of having the perfect organism in terms of physiological functions and immunity, one could still get smeared by a bus like paint on a canvas tomorrow.

I will concede that the fact that I do not fear death whatsoever also helps immensely. Literally no pressure, just flinging my best guess at it and dealing with whatever happens as a result.

Life really does feel a lot different once you stop counting minutes. I’m honestly very grateful for this paradigm shift!

I honestly stopped caring about time as we use it (I’d need to think for a minute if someone asked me what day it is) since the Pandemic. Never had much use for time other than scheduling, but the Pandemic seems to have completely cut me off from it.

Now, I just exist. Que sera, sera.

I used to greet clothing store mannequins and thought that people who didn’t were very rude.

Because we forget to buy condoms.

Believe me, I’m keeping an eye on every piece of Leftist media I find, and not just for the purpose of learning. I know Capitalism is very good at repackaging our complaints and critiques and selling them back as dopamine hits, but… there’s not much of a choice otherwise. Even the “underground networks” are owned by someone at this point…

The fact that I see and hear my family’s ethos in everything The Right does. That makes me angry beyond comprehension and motivates me to keep going out of sheer spite.

The assholes who raised me didn’t manage to break me, not enough to take me out of the game. The assholes who rule us now have their work cut out for them, because I came out stronger.

I understand where you’re coming from, honestly. But I think this is a sort of trauma response on our end (myself included) at this point. I’m not trying to pin mental illnesses on you, I’m nowhere near a licensed head doctor of any kind, I’m saying that we’ve been kicked and abused so much by the rich, that it’s only natural for those of us who broke free of the brainwashing to be on high alert, at least for a while. The continued unfolding of things surely can’t help this situation, either.

That being said, as long as he acts in good faith and is sincere and logical in his approach, which so far seems to be true, I’d say we should embrace his participation! As I see it, we need all the voices we can get. We’re already arguing semantics amongst ourselves all day long, I think it’d be a shame to let mistrust shatter “our side” without concrete proof of malicious intent.

At the end of the day, the greatest weapon the Right has is the fact that they yell united at everyone else. Let our chorus rival theirs!

I share your sentiment, whenever one of my aunts calls me a '“good-looking boy,” my mid-30s heart warms up.

In addition, we will all mature only when we realise that we never stop being children in one way or another. Plus why would anyone want to give that up? One of the few nuggets of genuine joy and curiosity that’s still left for us to own.

The most manipulative thing I’ve ever done is getting small children to eat their food.

For example, when I babysit my niece and she gets bored of her food, I yoink it and make-pretend that I’m stuffing my face with it. She always gets upset and demands her food back within two gulps.

They ran out of colour printer ink when I went in to get my “has no criminal record” certificate.

At this point, with the sheer amount of data, I’ve structured things based on individual drives. All of my devices have the onboard SSD. Call me old fashioned, but I still partition that one into two drives, one containing the Windows stuff and the essential 3rd party software, and a second partition which contains games, downloaded media, miscellaneous software, generally the stuff I use more frequently, but isn’t vital. It’s also where I store all downloads to keep the Windows partition clean and separate.

As for my external drives, I have one which I keep stuffed with game installs, and a second one which serves as my media library drive - music, movies, etc.

In terms of folder structures, I either use the default ones which come with Steam, for instance, or I keep it as simple as humanly possible (eg. Music > Artist > Album). Downloads are lumped in a single folder labeled, wherein I may make subfolders for mass downloads of mods and such. Otherwise, Search & pray! With indexing turned off, because I like to hurt myself!

It’s just like any other hobby, you have to see and decide for yourself! All I can say as a person who’s been playing video games for 27 years and loves them for both their mechanics and their artistic potential is that so far it has been time well spent!

To start, i’d first think about what kind of games tempt you most. You have a wide array of genres from which to choose, like cerebral real-time strategy or 4x games (Explore, Expand, Exploit, Exterminate), narrative and player expression centric role-playing games, action-packed shooters, or agile and clever platformers.

Then, you can use storefronts like Steam or Epic and run general searches based on genres - I’d recommend sorting according to top sellers/most purchased, as score-based sorting isn’t always reliable.

At the end of it all, however, the most important factor is whatever tempts you in any way. Steam (this is what I use most of the time) offers Demos for a lot of games nowadays, so you should be able to try pretty much whatever tempts you! Be it flashy graphics, an interesting story hook, or just sheer bloodlust, everything is valid!

I’ll leave a list of games I think would serve as a gentle introduction to this hobby below - they’re also not resource intensive, so you should be able to play them on any consumer laptop (or smartphone, some of them!):

• Stardew Valley - management-like game, you have to administrate a farm. But there’s a lot of extra complexity I won’t spoil

• Cloudpunk - combination of cyberpunk delivery person simulator and role-playing game, I’ve found it both relaxing and gripping!

• Cultist Simulator - it’s technically a card game, but what you actually do is balance having a socially acceptable life with investigating incomprehensible forces and leading a cult

• Star Wars: Knights of The Old Republic I and II - these two are meat-and-potatoes role-playing games with really solid stories, well-written and presented characters, a neat progression system which sees you unlocking awesome Force powers and/or other valuable perks, and the combat, I find, is the perfect mix of engaging and lenient

• Rocket League - this is as both a taste of faster-paced action, basic multiplayer interactions, and relatively high-end graphis - it’s football with cars, but awesome!

As an extra note, you may notice I’ve left links from everywhere. That’s because you’ll have to select a game storefront (it’s a whole thing nowadays, but you really don’t need to interact with that side of the hobby if you don’t want to…). The storefronts share most of their libraries of games, but there are a few exceptions, so it’s best to check them all out before sticking with one. Some examples of such:

• Steam is the most popular and is good, but you can’t run games without running Steam, plus it periodically needs to connect to the internet. Things are fairly priced, the community features are nice, the community is ok, frequent sales. They also offer a no-questions full refund if you choose to do so within two hours of play time, so that’s a way to try out games without Demos.

• GOG (Good Old Games) is basically Steam, less meaty. However, the main strongpoint is that, beyond installing the game through their platform, that game then exists as its own independent entity, not requiring any periodic validation through an internet connection (unless the game itself is online), no shady 3rd party software installed alongside the game to “protect it from piracy,” etc. The games are as yours as they could possibly be in a digital-only environment.

• Epic wants to be Steam’s direct rival, so their storefront has many of the same features, but it’s not as popular within the community. I honestly have no opinion about them.

Other than that, all I can say is try to explore the hobby, check out gaming outlets, watch Lets-Plays on YouTube, and you can always lean on the online community for suggestions and tips! Also applicable to myself!

I very much recommend it if you manage to find some!

I remember it being entirely unique as far as ice cream goes. I even remember it having a bit of that characteristic spicy kick to it.

Kiwi. Don’t even know if they make kiwi flavoured ice cream anymore, as I haven’t had any in decades.

Yes, that’s my favourite aspect about it, the interactivity between the various instances and how distinctly unique each instance seems to have become in terms of ethos. It’s wonderful to see so many different ‘tribes’ and be able to interact with all of them!

Had a Facebook account I completely ignored (set it up for my first girlfriend and we exclusively used Yahoo Messenger) then turned into a music dump, then deleted.

Had an Instagram account for about 3 months - surprisingly decent source of grotesque/morbid art!

Mainlined Reddit for a good couple of years, mostly during the Pandemic.

Switched to Lemmy a couple of months after deleting my Reddit account when shit went down, and it’s all I’ve been using and plan on using. Unless one counts news aggregators as social platforms.

I look more like Johnny Depp if he were born in Eastern Europe and didn’t wear long hair=)))

Can confirm this, the amount of genuine attention I received while losing my mind talking about Warhammer 40k with dates is unbelievable!

Of course, you should probe a bit beforehand. I got lucky and my dates were pretty much all into fantasy stuff, so 40k wasn’t a huge leap, but there was no interest expressed in 40k other than specifically to hear me talk about it.