The second verse of “Weird Al” Yankovic’s song, Headline News, is about these two.
Once there was this girl who
Swore that one day she would be a figure skating champion
And when she finally made it
She saw some other girl who was better
And so she hired some guy to
Club her in the knee cap
Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that
The relative position of the planets and the stars
Could have a special deep significance or meaning
That exclusively applies to only you
But, let me give you my assurance that
These forecasts and predictions are all based on
Solid, scientific, documented evidence
So you would have to be some kind of moron
Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true
Where was I?
The second verse of “Weird Al” Yankovic’s song, Headline News, is about these two.
Our society would be far better if we, as a whole, quoted Weird Al more often.
Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that The relative position of the planets and the stars Could have a special deep significance or meaning That exclusively applies to only you But, let me give you my assurance that These forecasts and predictions are all based on Solid, scientific, documented evidence So you would have to be some kind of moron Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true Where was I?
God damn I can’t not hear it
They’ve got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters Trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters Walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters Paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors Tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers Soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers
sigh would you look at all that stuff…
Took me several tries back in the day to sing that all in one breath, but damn it, I was determined.
https://youtu.be/ZqUDguy4870?si=RbQRq-kF6N0S-AYd
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https://piped.video/ZqUDguy4870?si=RbQRq-kF6N0S-AYd
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Warrior!
You might incredible strength, and you can probably pwn somebody’s face.
But you are worthless without a priest, you are destined to raid for all your life.
And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out
And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside
And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died
Except for me
You know why?
'Cause I had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Wow that music video sure is something. Thanks for that one
Wait, the events are real? 🤯
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assault_of_Nancy_Kerrigan
Yep, huge deal in the mid-90’s. Living through the 90’s was a wild ride for so many different reasons.
Mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmmmm…
Hired some guy to do what
Edit: oh like in that movie