I saw this asked on another instance, thought I’d ask it here and I’ll post my response from there in the comments as I think it felt cathartic.
Doesn’t need to be a life or death situation, just any moment in your life where you found yourself saying “Holy shit, I can’t believe this is happening!”
When I found out my first love had been cheating on me for 2 months and began gaslighting me, guilt tripping me and gossiping lies, while I was just standing all that in silence. I was already going through very stressful situations as leader of 2 projects that were going downhill in work… I went manic/psychotic, and had a ton of panic attacks, went through disassociation and derealization a lot. I was able to save the projects tho. 1 month later I lost my best friend due to a stupid misunderstanding while manic/psychotic. I had major depression and generalized anxiety for 1 year. To this day I have trauma from all this.
Im sorry you had to go through those things and that you still struggle today with it.
It seems to be a trend that when those closest to you are doing terrible things to you that they’ll gaslight you. Nothing worse than living with a devil, but they’re painting themselves as the saint to your mutual friends. It can really bring out the worst in yourself.
I hope you have some good ways of coping with the trauma now as it isn’t healthy to burden yourself or carry that around.
If you want to chat you can always reach out and I’ll listen with no judgement. 👊