I saw this asked on another instance, thought I’d ask it here and I’ll post my response from there in the comments as I think it felt cathartic.
Doesn’t need to be a life or death situation, just any moment in your life where you found yourself saying “Holy shit, I can’t believe this is happening!”
Probably climbing up the West Ridge of Quandary Peak in CO. I was with 3 college friends. I didn’t expect the altitude to affect me as much as it did, but I got pretty winded. It was a little snowy and wet, so our holds were sketchy at times. Along the ridge it’s class 3 climbing, and the crux is a crack in a steep rock with a dangerous fall behind you. That was probably the biggest adrenaline rush I’ve ever had.
Thankfully we were greeted by some friendly mountain goats on our descent.
Here’s a video good video of the climb. The harder stuff starts about 9 minutes in.
Cooool I was expecting my hands to start sweating but it looks like sometging I could almost do ! Nice view. Loved the drone shots
That’s scary as hell, but also looks quite rewarding.
I’ve often been curious about climbing as a fitness endeavour but I fear it’s too late now and I’m weak haha.
If I tried this again today I would
perishneed to be rescuedBut with discipline and training, this climb is very achievable! You don’t need to be a technical climber for this one.
Witnessing someone’s bad trip. A very, very, very bad trip. The kind of incident with a “before” and an “after”. Worse is that it was completely avoidable, had I been a little more concerned about others, rather than myself. I can never forgive myself for what happened that day…
Oich. Which substance was that ? So I don’t go near it
Kitten huffing
It was just LSD. Please practice harm reduction 🙏
How do I practice this ?
https://www.drugusersbible.com/ (Harm reduction and personal accounts)
https://psychonautwiki.org/wiki/Main_Page (Harm reduction, database)
https://www.erowid.org/ (Database with many personal accounts and some tips)
https://dancesafe.org/ (Test kits and some harm reduction advice)
The most important resources in my opinion.
Nice, thanks. LSD is probably something I’ll never try anyway
Although I don’t know the details of what entailed on the night, I do believe that people should forgive but don’t forget as holding on to things like that isn’t good for you and this applies to forgiving yourself, but not forgetting so that you don’t make the same mistake again.
I could list a few.
- Christmas when I was about 10 I found out my dad wasn’t really my dad. Thanks nana. The man who raised is my dad to me still.
- Leading on from the last one. Later in life my biological father got in touch and giving it all the life complicated spiel. I was indifferent but figured sure I’ll meet. Turns out he was back with my mum and now I’m back at home and he ain’t ever act like a dad, and now he doesn’t see if other daughters since he got back with my mum. Dudes a joke.
- as you might have noticed I’ve had a tumultuous childhood. Mum spent my formative years flipping between my non-bio dad and the man who I have a half brother with, who I ain’t seen in 30 years. So I spent the time sat in the back of a car whilst she called men to her friend or went in pubs to pour pints on their head.
- one time we came home and saw burglars robbing our flat. Probably something to do with my half brothers dad.
- one time as a young adult, the man that raised me was out getting drunk in his mates house. My mum made me break the door down and she went in all guns blazing grabbing a golf club and going ham.
- Fell in a canal at night off my box on Xanax and thought I might die. Threw out my stashed and literally nearly died from withdrawals.
- surprising not been assaulted many times cause I used to be a righteous mouthy cunt when drunk, i don’t drink at all as I saw how it broke my dad, well my mum did but alcohol didn’t help.
- watched as my mum and dad had a loveless marriage and at the start he used to hit her, then later she bullied his ass for decades. Like take his wages and refuse him money for cigs.
- on way to school vacation and got told my dad was going prison for driving drunk whilst banned.
- saw my tea dumped on her head.
- it’s all coming back now. One time my dad tried to drive the car into our house but it got stuck in the bushes.
That’s just a few, but yeah it’s no wonder I’m fucked, not an excuse as I’ve made progress and got a good job now. Not sure I’m happy but I’ve just shut off the stuff I grew up around as what else can I do.
Do you feel like going through those things made you more angry or more compassionate as an adult? It’s really crazy what childhood trauma does to the brain.
I honestly don’t know, I was pretty fucked up until 4 years ago and things only got better as I lucked out and got a job at Apple where they really enforced that you should strive to be the best, plus everyone there was successful in some other way. It came with healthcare which led to an ADHD diagnosis, which led to cutting down on drugs and that led to retraining as a software developer and now totally drug free for almost a month. Been a dev for a year.
Had that not happened I’d still be fucked. Now I don’t know if I was in that state because of my past or not.
To answer your question, I would say compassionate, but again I don’t know if it’s because of the things I went through or just the way I am. I have empathy for days and like to think I am on the right side of history with many things.
Now as the oldest, I saw a lot more than my brothers and they are nothing at all like me in terms of compassion, activism, and genuinely always trying to understand other people. I don’t care if you’re black, white, or pink. Junkie, criminal, or bum. As long as you’re trying to be a better person I will give you time and listen.
Ultimately, I’d say I really don’t know but anger is something I’ve never suffered from. Although there could be an argument for turning any anger inwards in self destructive manners, but again with ADHD they go hand in hand too.
One thing for sure is we are who we are due to our pasts in a certain way and it can be harder for some people and easier for others to overcome it.
Edit: It just occurred to me you said childhood trauma, but I hadn’t really thought about it that much that it would be trauma. Interesting.
I’m glad you found the right place and people at the right time… It’s funny how things like that can make such a huge difference. You’re totally right - we’re all a product of what we go through. That stuff that happens when you’re young… man that shit can take a long time to process and too often we fuck up a lot of other stuff on the way. I’ve been really lucky in my life to be in the right place at the right time, to have good people looking out for me, and to be given forgiveness and grace that I didn’t deserve at the time.
I really appreciate people who will own up to the breaks we’ve been given or the luck we have had along the way.
I see far too many people believe that nobody else plays a role in their success, which enables them to look down on others as through they’re inferior.
Forgiveness is key to life I think, the old adage of forgive but don’t forget, as if we hold on to grudges or preconceptions of people then we only really hurt ourselves. A lot can be said for humility imo.
Holy shit man, what a ride.
I’m glad you figured some of your shit out and are making progress. I’ve seen more than one person just crumple under less than half of what you’ve been through. Big ups, dude.
When I found out my first love had been cheating on me for 2 months and began gaslighting me, guilt tripping me and gossiping lies, while I was just standing all that in silence. I was already going through very stressful situations as leader of 2 projects that were going downhill in work… I went manic/psychotic, and had a ton of panic attacks, went through disassociation and derealization a lot. I was able to save the projects tho. 1 month later I lost my best friend due to a stupid misunderstanding while manic/psychotic. I had major depression and generalized anxiety for 1 year. To this day I have trauma from all this.
Im sorry you had to go through those things and that you still struggle today with it.
It seems to be a trend that when those closest to you are doing terrible things to you that they’ll gaslight you. Nothing worse than living with a devil, but they’re painting themselves as the saint to your mutual friends. It can really bring out the worst in yourself.
I hope you have some good ways of coping with the trauma now as it isn’t healthy to burden yourself or carry that around.
If you want to chat you can always reach out and I’ll listen with no judgement. 👊
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I can relate to this, although I didn’t go the degree route to end up as a software developer and in not sure how much of this will be transferable, but you literally have plenty of time and you can make vast changes in a short period of time.
I completed a bootcamp, but I just couldn’t perform in interviews and I got so anxious I would either clam up or just talk too much, ADHD too much.
I was devastated as I pinned all my hopes of being happy on this career change. So I did another bootcamp and again sucked at interviewing. I was making loads of projects on GitHub but not progressing. Suffice to say I managed to get fired by a small company and although the pay isn’t amazing, and I’m still insecure about my skills. You will get hired if you persist.
The other point I want to make, is I am still not happy, I am happier to be doing something I enjoy but it’s still a grind man. My employers didn’t care about my GitHub and didn’t even look at it, didn’t check my portfolio and really they wanted someone that was capable of following their coding practices rather than someone who would be pig headed about all they knew.
It also matters what roles you’re applying for. I was never going to be hired by London banks as I just didn’t fit in or have that mindset, although I interviewed for a few. I found my place in small company that will help me grow my skills and confidence. Maybe in the future I can move somewhere else, but still not a massive company. I have friends working in Canary Wharf and they have maybe 10% the coding I get to do, because they have to go through review processes and such and maybe what they build doesn’t even go live ever.
I guess I just want to say if massive salary isn’t your only goal and you just want to have a somewhat fun job where you solve problems then stick at it, but you first have to get out of the rut, which is the hardest thing in the world. You’ll need to reach out to friends, family or people on here for support to get a routine. Sleep is the hardest. Stop sleeping in the day if you do that, I like to take walks when I finish work before dinner time just so I don’t sleep. Then you can sleep at night, then you’ll be able to have a routine. Once you have a routine you just have to grind out the soul destroying interviews until you find one that lands. I know it can be disheartening, but honestly if I can get hired then anybody can.
You’re 24 and I made it at late thirties. Now I will confess I am lucky (sad) enough to be back at my mums so I was able to save money and not stress so much.
Another thing that helped me no end was working at Apple. I started as a Christmas temp and moved to the Genius Bar. Working there is something else. Like everybody had another side hustle, whether it be photography, music making or whatever. When you’re surrounded by people like that it’s kinda inspiring. Plus you get to handle problem solving too and really work on the social skills required. For instance talking to customers whilst typing on an iPad is hella hard at first as it feels rude not to be looking at them. Plus handling all the assholes etc.
This is long now and I digress a lot, but essentially, even if cliche, you can make it. You just have to stick at it. Even through the hardest of times. For me keeping my mind busy and routine is key otherwise I’m prone to wallow and wonder why nothing changes.
Also, the grass ain’t not greener over here. Perhaps we are not destined for happiness but we can have a less horrible time you know.
You have so much time in front of you and the anxiety that you’re feeling is incredibly common. Don’t give up! For many jobs a degree is just proof that you have the determination and perseverance to start and finish something. Many employers prefer someone with basic skills, the personality to take direction, and willingness to learn. I went back to school at 34. As a new grad, I had someone say in an interview, " We can teach you skills. The interview is to make sure you fit into our organization." Is there anyplace in your community that offers job coaching or practice interviews to help you overcome the anxiety?
The neighbours raised a fledgling starling that lost its mother. When it was big enough it decided the whole world was his best friend and would socialize quite a lot with us. I have a million pictures of him on our heads or shoulders or yelling at us through the kitchen window to come outside and find him some bugs.
Anyway he was absolutely in love with car rides. Yes, a wild bird liked a road trip. The guy who was feeding him used to bring him to work every morning to feed him routinely so he got very used to the car, and he LOVED it. So when we got home from work he’d sit on the roof of the car and yell until we came outside and took him for a ride somewhere. I had many car rides around the neighborhood that summer while he sat on my shoulder and yelled gleefully in my ear.
That’s so cool. I never had a relationship with a bird like that
Me neither! The force of his personality was absolutely unreal. For such a small creature he was extremely happy and demanding and humourous.
Dude that’s the sickest(as in best) thing I’ve ever read and I’m not gonna lie I was kinda expecting a terrible turn at the end.
Would love to see some pictures this starling, or videos. It’s on my bucket list to make friends with a bird, particularly crows, and you literally had that. Not only that, the dude loved road trips… like what.
Sorry about his mum though.
Here he is sitting happily on my head. He would sit up there and cheerfully root through my hair looking for bugs, or when I walked the dogs he’d sit up there and yell at everyone we walked past. I will upload a video of him when I get home and am on wifi a little later.
I can’t cope. I’m sooo jealous right now. Look how fluffy he is.
One day I too hope to take a walk with a bird on my head as it shouts at people.
I will look forward to a video of the little fella. It’s evening here now so I’m going to be offline for 8-10 hours.
Video for you: https://imgur.com/a/DUkHhS8
Thanks for sharing.
I can’t quite believe how chill he is with that dog stood there salivating.
He thought it was hilarious to tease the dog. Dog hates birds now though.
The funniest part was how distinctive his voice was. You know when a bunch of birds are chirping in a tree? I could pick him out from inside the house calling for me to come get him in a single chirp. He also obviously a great sense of humor, and when he’d stick his face in the kitchen window to tell me to come get him, his face would be like 😁!!! It really was funny.
Having an in-depth conversation with a crossdressing or trans street sex worker at 0100, claiming they were thirty but who looked eighteen at most, looking to do tricks for meth money, while I was outside of a bar on karaoke night on acid.
She showed me her DeviantArt page, which included a drawing of her as queen on a playing card fellating a shampoo bottle. It was the most fucked up, but interesting drug-addled conversation I’ve ever had. Very friendly, eventually went down a block to another group of people because quote ‘They look pretty drunk’.
Every part of this sounds made up, but I swear it’s true.
I find we can have the best conversations with the people we differ from the most, those are the people that have different perspectives that we can learn from.
Ecstasy was the drug for me back in the day and that shit will have you unloading everything, even stuff you wouldn’t tell your therapist. Until it wears off and you’re instantly like uhh I don’t want to talk to anybody anymore. Haha
100% agree. It’s a big world out there with people of all kinds, living lifestyles you couldn’t possibly imagine (in both a positive and a negative sense). Those rare moments you get to connect with those people, human to human, are always interesting as fuck.
Every time I took acid in public, I was a magnet for massive weirdos, but every time it’s ended fantastically well.
(Can’t responsibly recommend though, there were very real risks of getting stabbed or robbed a couple times)
What about Tiananmen Square…?!? That was kinda cool for the CCP!
I wasn’t there but maybe someone here was.
Oh wait.
No.
They were all killed and then turned to mush by tanks repeatedly driving over the bodies and then hosed dune the drains.
GLORY TO THE CCP AND HOW WONDERFUL THEY ARE TO ALL THE PEOPLE.
I found out that my dad had a secret girlfriend who was my age. A student of his. He also had a secret job, working as a consultant for Putin’s science advisor.
I am sorry you had to find out about your dads secret life, I can’t imagine what that felt like.
As for the Putin thing. I have so many questions.
Without getting into traceable details, government science advisors often work with large universities so that’s where the connection is.
Putin has a science advisor? What is this the 1930s?
I don’t understand ?
The strangest moment of my life was probably when I found myself doing DMT with a Willie Nelson impersonator in his mobile home. He had a pit bull which was running around with an erection.
That does sound very interesting.
I’ve always wanted to try DMT but it doesn’t seem to be a thing we can get here in the UK.
It was homemade in this case 🫠. Little involved but doable… or so I hear
Very interesting. Off I go…
Turns out you can literally find very detailed guides online for making this stuff and with not too crazy equipment.
Have fun be safe!
Seems strange that all stories here are so mild? Anyone got an actually crazy but real story?
I was at a bar in Mexico for 4th of July when, due to a combination of alcohol, no situational awareness, and a strong sense of bodily autonomy, I accidentally started a riot of about 400 Americans, all college students and Hell’s Angels. The entire scene was scary-crazy. I ended up speed-crawling under the legs of dozens of bikers who were trying to grab me, and escaped into the night.
One time I tripped but then I caught balance just in time
Be the change you want to see…
Hey, that post on that other instance was mine ;)
Would you say it was the craziest moment of your life ?
Definitely
Hey, small world. Hope you answer the other commenters request.
One time I got back from annual leave only to find out that my job had been done away with by the board over a year beforehand and my manager had spent the last year submitting fake timesheets claiming I was working a different position, so I could do the parts of her job that the assistant manager wasn’t already doing. The company had assumed I knew about it as they couldn’t get in contact with me when they discovered it and came down on the manager (my job was only the beginning of her fraud), but I was in the middle of nowhere and had no signal, so the first I heard about it was when I walked into the office and one of my coworkers went “what are you doing here?”.
That really is insane. Do you know what happened to the manager committing the fraud?
To my knowledge she got away without any real consequences - last I heard she had the same position at one of the competitors.
