God: now it’s got to be around here somewhere…

(Ring Ring, Ring Ring) God: go for God!

Pray’ey: Oh god! Oh Christ! Why is this happening!? My god it’s horrible!

God: Now calm down, your gonna have to narrow it down, I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Pray’ey: God why have you forsaken us?!

God: Well, without any specifics I can safely say, all things happen for a reason.

Pray’ey: Why have you dropped this giant glass disk on our town?

God: Oh that’s where I put that.

If the contact lens was the size of a city block, the wearer would be around 7-8 miles tall. And while that’s very large on a terrestrial scale, on the cosmic scale it’s infinitesimal. Since God is the creator of heaven and earth, and heaven includes all star bearing galaxies, the Creator must be greater than the created, which is around 93 billion light years across. Further, contact lenses are corrective, and God is without flaw, so this couldn’t be God’s contact lens. But it cannot be a terrestrial contact lens. So it must be celestial, but for something that needs correction. The only celestial beings that would have flaws are fallen celestials.

This is Satan’s contact lens. Satan is no more than 8 miles tall

Didn’t Stephen King write a book about that?

hmmm, god has eyeballs? I guess he supposedly made us in his image so it makes sense. does god have guts? are there microbes living in god’s intestines??