I was running for my train. After entering in the station airlock, for a reason i still can’t explain, i turned right instead of continuing straight ahead and BAM, i hit a glass with my face. Now i have a little scar, fortunately hidden behind my eyebrow.
Lifting weights on a machine instead of free weights. Trust yourself, not a machine.
Last christmas, I was splitting wood with a wedge and a sledgehammer, and the sledgehammer broke. It didn’t hurt anyone, but my dumbass decided to pick up the sledgehammer head and start smashing away. My pinky slipped, and got crushed. I didn’t break any bones, surprisingly, and made a full recovery.
I had a very sturdy, energetic dog who loved chasing a thrown ball. He was tied to a long rope (about 100 feet). I did not pay attention to where the rope was and threw the ball and he exploded from my side and flew like a rocket after the ball. The rope, unfortunately, was tied to a tree in the direction I was throwing but was curled behind me. I was wearing shorts and as the rope started to be pulled away, it pulled up against both of my calves and abraded all of the skin from the backs of my legs away in a moment, and then the rope was pulled taught, deftly swiping both of my legs out from underneath me, dropping me backwards onto my head on a stone patio, splitting my scalp and spraying blood all over my white canvas outdoor furniture. The dog looked very proud for catching the ball when he loped up to me afterwards.
Partially tore three quadriceps muscles and two calf muscles break dancing at an arcade bar when I was black out drunk. Just didn’t know when to quit until it was too late. Both my primary doctor and the person who did the MRI thought it was hilarious. To be fair, it was.
I fell off a first floor balcony, helping in a move. Landed on a bush, bounced off it, and came to a stop on a stone paved floor, after breaking a kitchen cabinet with my shoulder and back.
Cut my brow on a twig in the bush, twisted my left ankle, scraped my left shoulder, elbow and hand.
Would do it again.
Hadn’t I leaned too forward to release a foot of the cabinet, it would have tumbled down onto another person, with no warning, straight into their head.
So… worth the scars and bruises.
I was stuck at home for several weeks after a back injury. I was on Vicodin and could barely get out of bed, no tv. So I started beating it. Well, with Vicodin, it makes it very difficult to finish and I lost track of time. By the time I had finished, I realized I’ve been at it for 5 hours. My dick hurt for 4 days afterwards, and the Vicodin didn’t really help with that pain.
😆
Cooking. Took a tray out of the oven and put in on the top. Turned to grab a spatula and caught the edge of the tray with the loose end of the oven glove.
As it slid off the top my dumb ass quickly grabbed for it with my ungloved hand, missed, and just pressed the searing hot tray into my stomach and thighs.
Two pies on the floor, that while I was whimpering in the cold shower upstairs, the dog ate.
Broke my wrist by blocking a gigantic remote control car flying directly at me at 50 MPH and I was the person controlling it.
Got my ponytail stuck in my armpit somehow, twisted my head rapidly to look at something and yanked on it. Not fun.
I poured boiling noodle water over my foot, had a big blister there and couldn’t walk in shoes for weeks. It’s almost a year now but the skin is still itchy sometimes.
Touched an arm to the air fryer basket accidentally, now I’ve got a lovely horizontal scar on the side of my wrist
I was carrying a hoover downstairs and slipped. The hoover fell down the stairs faster than me and stopped at the bottom obviously. The wire had partially unspooled and the very British three prong plug was sitting on the ground, pointing straight towards the sky.
Guess where my arse landed once I had finished slipping down the carpeted stairs?
‘Honest Doc, that’s exactly how it got up there!’
When I was about 4, I was jumping on the sofa, back and forth from one arm to the other (because the middle was lava, obviously)
Misjudged it and ended up going headfirst off the end into a china cabinet next to it, glass doors and all - I ended up missing the first month of school, 32 stitches and basically half a Glasgow smile to show for it, I’m told it looks very cool
I was going to carry a 5 gallon jug of water on my bicycle. I was just going to let the bicycle handle the weight by balancing it on the top tube between my legs, as I had already done a number of times before.
But this time, as I lifted the jug to place it on the top tube, it came down just a little too far back and totally smashed my left testicle!
“Five gallons of water weighs approximately 41.65 pounds (or about 18.9 kilograms) at room temperature. This is based on the weight of one gallon being around 8.33 pounds.” - DuckAssist
OUCH!!!
For the next few months, my left nut was misshaped, thank goodness it didn’t outright rupture!
You are supposed to wash your nuts with water, not squash your nuts.
Anyone who knows me that on the ice rink I turn into the human equivalent of a scruffed cat. My friend wanted to see me skate and I didn’t want to disappoint so I ended up launching myself by pushing off of a wall. Suffice to say I ended up landing square on my butt! 😂
