Edit: I don’t mean someone that will sacrifice their life for yours, more someone who would go out of their way to rush you to the hospital or something
I think the number is a lot higher and the barrier of trust a lot lower than people think.
If you come across a vehicle accident and you are able to help someone generally people don’t even think and just take action to save another persons life.
In reactionary scenarios where direct intervention saves someone’s life, people help a lot more than you’d think.
As a species we generally have a bypass in our brains that makes us want to help others in desperate need.
Those are 2 different questions with 2 different answers.
First one, maybe 25%.
Second one, maybe 2%.
Zero. Become partially disabled for over a decade and you might understand. Sometimes surviving is worse than dying. You might become a different person you might not, but you will likely discover how everyone in your life is largely there in relative orbits. If you get knocked out of the stellar system, what you thought of as the planets that grounded your social world will not leave the star to chase after you no matter how much you need them to.
I didn’t expect an astrophysics analogy when I opened this post but good one
Having been through a bad health situation, I understand what you mean. Not even my own parents supported me.
That’s terrible.
They are the only ones that are supposed to help you.
Also the people you consider real friends can let you down.
In my experience it’s sometimes the ones you don’t expect that are there for you.
You didn’t ask their help and are just close enough to vent your problems.
Those are the good people and that gives me a sparkle of hope for the otherwise very grim world.Few and far in between
That has been my experience too. The not expected actually there for you friend. There are friends we feel close to and friends who would drop everything to come lend aid. There may be some overlap between those two groups, but don’t mistake the former for the latter.
Absolutely. I’m not disabled but I can say with confidence there are genuinely zero good people on this planet. Me included. People are truly only in it for themselves and will cast aside and trample anyone who gets in their way.
Learned that first from my parents. Even if they’re related to you, they will throw you under the bus at their earliest convenience.
I know several people who would give up anything on hand to help if needed. There are plenty of good people in this world. If you’re willing to give, you will find those willing to help
But there’s no guarantee that if the time came where someone was in need, they would actually act and give up things on hand.
I grew up thinking that friends and loved ones took care of each other when in need. I even dropped big things to help those I loved. My mom neglected her health until she needed an emergency surgery and once I found out I dropped a final exam in uni to make sure she got there and took her meds.
When I had a serious emergency though, I was completely alone. Both parents, all family and friends. You have friends until they decide you don’t offer them enough. It’s too much energy expended to maintain dynamics like that with multiple people. You end up feeling worthless and that takes a big toll on your health.
Some people suck. But no, that’s not the case for many of the people I know. I know many people who aren’t transactional at all. I have friends who don’t care about value and will help whenever is needed. I know other people who are like what you’re talking about. But still, the good ones, that will help for whatever, are genuinely good. They’re not doing it as a transaction.
I would say the vast majority of people are good, however people are flawed so a lot of people are bad at being good.
This is pretty close to my answer. I feel bad for the people who don’t think their friends would drive them to the hospital if they were dying.
That type of betrayal is actually so common that there is a term for it, look up “cancer ghosting”. A lot of people wouldn’t believe in it until it happens to them.
I don’t really consider rushing someone to a hospital as an especially high bar for genuinely good person. Seems more like the bar for not being a genuinely bad person. Not sure if that means that I’m positive or negative about humanity.
Having lived here for over half a century now, and having met a ton of people and having get to know a solid portion of them better, I could safely say:
My wife and myself. The rest I would not bet a TicTac on. Homo homini lupus est. People are nice to you, even seem like “good people”, but, as another comment or already said, people are contextual.
Be a tiny bit different from the mass and you’d notice why. People are nice to you as long as you provide some kind of benefit to them. Now or in the future. Even worse if you have money and they know it.
Yet, Despite me being misanthropic as hell, I still do care about my fellow species-members (everything living actually) and do voluntary work for disabled people and stuff like that. And yes, I know that most of them would probably sell me to one of Dante’s circles of hell to get rid of their disability. But there are always some pearls somewhere in the ocean. It’s worth finding them. Tiresome and frustrating, but worth it.
This is a realistic mindset
People being nice to you only if you provide a benefit to them is certainly not something I’ve experienced in general. Sounds like this person knows lots of assholes.
It does not always have to be obvious to you as to what their benefit in you actually is. Doesn’t mean they won’t see one in you. Sometimes it’s very abstract not clearly superficial. You will notice if you somehow loose that benefit. And yes, met many assholes. Almost exclusively. Hence the point. But I’m very picky with people.
I’ve also almost met exclusively assholes, it happens
I’d trade it for a more oblivious anytime 😁
Until recently I would have said 0%, but probably 95% of my current friends would rush me to a hospital (if it was physically possible) the other 5% are perpetually busy and would probably find someone who could.
Why the drastic change?
I found a group of people who actually give a fuck about each other. I am never letting them go. They are stuck with me now.
Im 58, I’ve et 4 people in my life I’d classify as “good”. Im with one and I’m not one.
All 4 are women, which gives me pause as a guy.
The grass is always greener on the other side.
Percentage is an odd way to measure it. I’m sure I’ve met thousands of people but would know scores who would rush me to hospital if I needed it as per your example. Still a pretty small percentage.
Having actually been rushed to hospital when I was a kid by my friends after a big accident on my bike I would say the number is higher than you might think. They even walked by bike back home, which considering it was miles from home was pretty mad for teenagers.
I would say at least 20 people I know who are close to me either have done something I would consider above and beyond for me already or I know for sure would do so. Thats not counting any relatives.
There is a big difference between a good person that will not intentionally do you harm and is happy to help vs one that would enter risk to save you in life or death.
I know lots of people I am confident would do me no harm and treat me well. I know a few that do not care / can’t be trusted.
As for my life that is fairly limited to select family and a few friends.
just a few and that’s ok. people will make good and bad things and there are a few with whom you’ll really get along with. keep them close.
I think it’s dangerous to consider anyone to be a fundamentally good person or a fundamentally bad person. It’s impossible to know what someone is internally and I am not a believer in determinism. Every person is complex and capable of good and evil acts depending on their circumstances.
Especially when you live in a cutthroat competitive culture in which what little to win is jealously guarded by narcissistic psychopaths, many people understand at least on some level that public behavior is a performance intended to reap rewards rather than an honest presentation of oneself. Good and evil is inapplicable here. Our system is amoral, and we human animals are just going to do what we consider to be a good idea at a time and only a few of us really consider the ethics of what we’re going to do before we do it, and the few of us capable of that only do it some of the time.
Someone can do the right thing for the right reasons, the right thing for the wrong reasons, the wrong thing for the right reasons, or the wrong things for the wrong reasons. I can never know their internal part, just base my expectations on how their behavior effects me and others. I wouldn’t trust anyone until I consider them to be trustworthy, though I can’t expect to always be right about that either.
Your comment seems to be conflicting
In what way?
You recognize that our world breeds narcissistic psychopaths so you likely understand it would be in your best interest to avoid them but you also don’t think you should make judgements on people’s character
Being a narcissistic psychopath is a circumstance, not an expression of internal evil. Narcissistic psychopaths are also capable of doing the right things for the right reasons as well as for the wrong reasons. The reason I advocate against guessing people’s internal morality is mainly practical for my own relationships, but also is to encourage people to fix systemic problems instead of pretending some malicious force of evil is omnipresently working against the interests of mankind as many religious people believe. In a better system, narcissistic psychopaths could get what they want without harming others for their ends.
You’re right in that the majority of people have terrible judgement, not everyone has training to recognize personality traits and often make horrible assumptions. But at the core of it, if you strive for a society with as little conflict as possible, you require the general to care about the general.
A narcissistic psychopath is inherently, by definition, incapable of doing that naturally. They can mask and imititate but left to their own devices they will always be a detriment to society as a whole. Narcissism, lack of empathy and remorse, manipulation are all grouped as Anti-Social Personality Disorders for a reason.
They aren’t anti-social in the sense that they don’t like to party, they are anti-social in the sense that their goals do not align with a properly functioning society.
Fortunately in your example, the general can still serve the general as anti-social personality disorders will always be in the minority especially if that society functions properly for the general welfare of its people. As for doing it naturally, we naturally live in hunter-gatherer bands. Society is fully socially constructed and requires all of us to resist many aspects of our natures for it to function in a way that benefits us.
What I am arguing for is that these individuals are honestly acknowledged for their tendencies and deficits so that they can get the help they need while serving in a capacity which limits their ability to harm others due to their negligence and benefits others by utilizing their strengths. A psychopath can understand that it is in their self-interest to live in a stable friendly society. Honestly I don’t personally know to integrate a full-blown narcissist, but I expect it’s possible. I don’t think it’s possible or advisable to make any effort to remove all psychopaths and narcissists from society since eugenic thinking is responsible for many of the worst atrocities in human history.
Do you see any current day examples of how a minority of people acting with machevellianism can rise to positions of power because they are willing to trample everyone in their path with complete disregard for human life?
Good? Many The other is completely different thing independent of being ‘a good person’
I have trusted humans in the past. They have always failed me. Humans are not to be trusted. Just look at the state of the terrarium we live in.
