I cracked my ribs mountain biking. Two months later, I got food poisoning and re-cracked them, whilst throwing up.

I went to catch a falling board with my foot, turned out to be a plow blade. I still don’t understand how it didn’t shatter the bones in my toes.

I gestured energetically to someone to throw the next fruit to me to fruit ninja it and cut my hand on the knife

Shattered my wrist riding a rental scooter. I hit a crack in some concrete and the scooter became a small catapult, sending me flying over handlebars. Took a year to feel recovered

I was 15 or so, trying to drill a hole through the bottom of a 5.56 casing to weave onto some paracord for a necklace. Using whatever I found in the shed to try and accomplish this, I held the casing in place with a pair of vice grips as used a shitty old bit in a hand drill to try and put the hole in it. Well, instead the bit snapped, and I put what remained of the bit in the drill through my finger. Being a stubborn idiot, I dumped some hydrogen peroxide on it, applied pressure with a paper towel, then covered my whole finger in duct tape. Fortunately didn’t get infected (the bit was probably screaming hot), but I’ve got a fun scar now!

I cut my finger down to the bone while working with a jewelers saw. Didn’t even realize I hit flesh until my whole finger was being moved by the blade. Don’t particularly want to think about how far I may have gotten into the bone…

I was taking apart a printer when I was a kid. I learned not to pry up the hard way.

Screwdriver right in the eye socket. Amazing I didn’t lose the eye.

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I did a burpee and when jumping my feet back in towards my hands, they went too far and i kicked my own wrist. My toenail took a chunk of skin out of my wrist. So dumb.

I was running, and pulled my back.

i sneezed and it triggered a muscle spasms on my lower back that led to me being stuck in bed for two weeks.

it would happen again a year or so later when i reached for a glass of water and again; another year or so later; when i tripped on uneven pavement.

I tried to pick up a friend that was way heavier than me and I dropped him on myself, injuring my knees possibly forever

As a volunteer firefighter, I stepped over a hose in the dark and fell into a drainage ditch. Tore the ligaments in my ankle and chipped the bone.

I had a door slam on my thumb in a dark room reaching for the lightswitch. Nail came off later that month

Got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. On the way back to bed I accidentally tripped on a piece of furniture I didn’t see. When I turned on the light my pinky toe was bent in a right angle. Had to have it reset and taped up but since it was my right foot I couldn’t drive for several weeks. Every day I just thought how stupid and avoidable this whole mess was.