So your stance actually is that a woman in a dominatrix suit is always propogating heteronormativity… unless she’s wearing a strapon… while could be construed as being used for penetrating either a man or a woman or anyone else.

So in your mind, BDSM is heteronormative unless it explicity is made clear that it is not.

That would mean that in your mind, pegging is not heteronormative, even if it is going on between a heterosexual couple… even though a man being pegged very, very much goes against the general social view of how sex between a man and a woman works or should work.

… You have a very different understanding of what heteromormativity is and means than I do.

EDIT:

Like, I get the idea that pegging is not heteronormative… but you also seem to think that BDSM… is heteronormative, unless its made very explicitly clear that it is even farther outside the ‘normal’ realm, with specificity.

BDSM, to the point of owning a dominatrix suit, is absolutely not the standard norm.

It thus is not heteronormative.

We’re at about 1 in 5 adults in the US that have tried BDSM once in their lifetimes. It is becoming more popular, but 1 in 5 is still not ‘the norm’, that’d be at least half.

I can’t actually find stats on… how regularly people engage in BDSM as a recurring part of their sex lives, vs people who have just experimented with it… but it is definitionally less than 1 out of 5, likely considerably less.

But then you’ve also got all the stats on how people who do engage in BDSM are actually much more likely than the general population to actually identify as LGBTQ+ or engage in non-hetero sex… so yeah, thats just another way that BDSM in general just is not heteronormative.