World is an absolute shit show with no signs of improving, personal life just keeps turning upside down, everything makes me terminally tired. I am trying to remain positive and be a positive force for others. I do stuff to make me feel better, like art, take walks, talk to a therapist, grow plants, community work - and I do manage to squeeze a tiny happiness out of my activities but it doesn’t seem to be worth the effort. I try to connect with people and quite a few people actually seem to like me but socializing makes me feel exhausted. I catch myself thinking “Let the fucking war arrive and burn it all down” and that’s terrifying stuff to carry in one’s own head. I just feel I’m part of the overpopulation and that there’s no point of existing.
I have a kid and don’t want them to be sad because their crazy parent offed themselves and that’s all that keeps me going.
Those of you feeling like this: what keeps you going?
EDIT: Wow, this has been quite a day. Thanks for your answers and advice, it was so far the darkest day I found on my path and you really helped me through it! I’d like to send a virtual hug to all, especially those who seem to be struggling as much as I do and who stay around for the sake of their loved ones, or simply out of spite and anger. The heavy tension-inducing weather that was been brewing here all morning finally unloaded into an impressive thunderstorm with bucket loads of rain, and then a friend arrived telling me she was feeling quite the same way (the weather clearly didn’t help today!), and she inspired me to host a meeting I wanted to do since a long time, so I finally set up a date for it and announced it. So here we go again, despite or with the rage, the spite, the heavy heart. See you tomorrow, hopefully with some sun to try that ‘baking cookies in my car’ thing I just found in the shitposting community. At least there will be cookies to go with the doom tomorrow!
Watermelon.
There’s a few people who’d be sad if I liked myself. That’s about it, really. Well that and the 7 medications and regular therapy.
The realist shit ever. Disconnect, unplug, walk away. Get grounded again. 15 years ago phones were just picking up. Focus on your real world in front of you life again. Stop thinking about the news, worrying about xyz. Let go and focus on the moment. Bird/animal watch.
Look at how others are psychologically dependant on tech instead of true connections. Then revel in your ability to understand and be content with not being attached as much and shifting your mind to living in reality outside of your mental rat race. Life goes on. Leave the mental gymnastics and step out of that path.
Edit: All these people saying hate, rage, spite, all the negative emotions really shows you the world consensus. None of the words their choosing are healthy. That’s indicative of their mental and physical health. Positivity has taken a back seat because negativity sells, gets clicks, views, and is socially/structurally distorted.
Nihilism. I’ve fully accepted that humans are definitely going extinct and I’m just along for the ride. It’s oddly comforting to realize nothing you do matters in the long run because your entire species and society has no future.
Is that a healthy mindset? No. But I’m not a healthy person to begin with so I don’t care.
I sometimes wish I could just drop all hope, but it always keeps popping up again. I’m a hopeless optimist, or maybe an optimistic hopeless person? ‘Healthy’ is a very subjective thing, there’s no ‘one fits all’ solution - you can pursue the most healthy activities in very unhealthy ways, and use the most unhealthy stuff to keep alive and somewhat happy, so what?
The fact that dying is harder than a lot of people assume. Damn biology making me hungry and thirsty and afraid of train tracks…
I wish my damn biology reminded me that I’m hungry before I reach the state of hangry doom - but hey I’m afraid of train tracks as well and always keep hydrated, and I managed to bake some yummy bread today that I actually like to eat.
That biological urge to stay alive might completely fuck up my retirement plan of jumping off a bridge when my body starts falling apart. I probably should make a better plan before I reach my 60s.
Making money to support my wife and kids, and not much else. I try to do my best for self care, but other than occasionally playing videogames and mowing the lawn, nothing really brings me joy. I’ve been into world politics since I was a kid, and have witnessed the slow decline of the US over decades. I’ve been really good at putting money away over my career, and have a healthy insurance policy, I just hope my kids can benefit from it.
I’m more curious about what happens next than dejected about what has already transpired
Exploration, curiosity, discovery can be great motivators
I like that, I try to remember being curious every day!
It’s great that you’re trying to take care of yourself!
“Overpopulation” is a lie spread by the right wing to distract us from the way that capitalists, oligarchs, etc. take from us. You might find a useful project in looking into community movements that have rejected, in the past and currently, exploitation under capitalism and other hierarchies. https://inv.nadeko.net/playlist?list=PLvwoHdNGq9wUbrwTZ2k8yXE5oABPBQ4NX here is a playlist with short videos talking about still-active resistance groups of many kinds. There’s always something we can learn from them. https://srslywrong.com/ this podcast is a sweety pie take providing fun and funny analyses of various hierarchies in society (check the sidebar for recommended episodes).
Talk about these feelings with trusted people in addition to your therapist. Pull back from watching the news/doomscrolling/social media for a while. See if you can take a trip to a place where life looks different, for a week.
Things are rough, but I’ll have all the time in the world to rest when I’m dead. So why not give it my all and see where it takes us?
The knowledge that western domination over the world is crumbling, that neolibarlism is becoming discredited, and that the capitalist system is imploding. Meanwhile, there’s plenty of positive news coming out China every day. China is building infrastructure, transitioning off fossil fuels, and improving the standard of living for its people. China is showing what an alternative cooperative model of development looks like, one that’s not based on constant war and exploitation.
What keeps me going is dogs because I love canids they are so adorable. But also because I love computers and shi and doing cool hacky shit on it. Idgaf about the state of the world. Sure some random western giant decided to bomb huge regional power in hot oil land but honestly that just motivates me to make the most out of whatever the hell I have. It’s like that phenomenon where the world feels like it’s gonna end so you might as well go crazy and do a bunch of shit you always wanted done. Another thing that keeps me going is cute anime huzz 😩😩😩
I have a kid and don’t want them to be sad because their crazy parent offed themselves and that’s all that keeps me going.
That’s some real shit bruh keep it pushing also the fact that you even have a kid in the first place is a big W
“The horrors persist, yet so do I”. The world sucks, but I have things I care about, people I love, some wonderful cats. And I’m not gonna let a fucked up world take that away from me without a fight
I guess I do have some people? Lack of object permanence doesn’t help the situation very much. Who can prove my loved ones even exist when they are not here?
If you unironically have trouble believing in the persistance of things outside of your own immediate senses, please go talk with your therapist more.
That’s kind of base level underpinnings of your existence and how you interact with the rest of the world shit.
Well it’s the 'tism and I am self aware about the issue, and I don’t think any therapist is just going to delete the autism from my brain by talking with them more, but thanks?
If you take nothing else from this thread: That’s not “just autism”.
And the goal of working with a professional wouldn’t be to “delete your autism” like holy shit lmao that is so off base I would think you were a shitposter if I hadn’t met other people like you before.
There are dangerous thought patterns, shit that does nothing but erode your trust in the existence of an external reality. I don’t have the proper words to describe the level of danger to yourself and those around you that you can cause if you don’t believe foundational aspects of external reality.
This is really something you need to discuss with professionals.
This feels like psychologist or neurologist territory.
It’s not about what keeps me going, it’s about what can get me to slow down to survivable speeds.
Oh I love this one! I’m all for slowing down!
trying to emigrate. I can’t die here this sad and this alone. I’m motivated by self hate and a delusion that since I was happy one time it could happen again
Trying to find somewhere quite like here but not entirely, just so I can get busy with the relocating and building something new. It’s a hack, but an interesting one. Of course, on the other side of the fence we’ll meet our face in the mirror yet again.
that sounds a little harder than what I’m trying to pull off. I heard there’s this super secret scumbag lifehack where if an autistic person picks a country different enough from their own, their social symptoms tend to just appear as average immigrant idiosyncrasies.
I’m pretty repulsed by my own country’s culture so I’m hoping I’ll be spared that “grass is always greener” fallacy that tends to befall other expats.
Unfortunately I already played my “going to another country where it’s all better” card 25 years ago, and because of that didn’t even notice I was autistic for quite some time, so there’s some truth in that.
At this point I can report that I’m repulsed by my native country’s culture, my country of residence’s culture, and probably that of any other country once I learn enough about it. So my main criteria for finding a new place at this point are “Small affordable house with a garden for rent, understand the language at least a little, rural area in the mountains without too many fascists, not too dry and hot”. Let the other expats have all the beaches and leave me alone.
Nice try fed agent, you are not getting my will to live
But I need it for myself!
erm sir the radiation levels are way too high here XD
You’re not getting promoted glowie
