Jesus: “Love one another.”

Everyone else: “We’re gonna kill that son of a bitch.”

Our rule is similar. “If you don’t know how or when it’s appropriate to use a word then you shouldn’t be using it.”

Profanity is just words. Using them properly doesn’t make you look cool. Using them improperly does make you look like an idiot.

Somewhere in the not so distant future…

Google Search: “Install printer driver windows 11”

Result from random blog:
“My first experience with printer drivers was 35 years ago. My grandma had an IBM PS2 that ran MS DOS and an HP Deskjet printer. It connected to the computer via a parallel port and printed a whopping 1 page per minute. Every year at Christmas, Grandma would print off her famous pecan pie recipe and we would all gather around the printer, eagerly listening to the sound of the print head slowly whooshing back and forth in anticipation of the tasty goodness to come. Blah blah blah. Five more pages of meaningless stories that have nothing to do with installing print drivers followed by a solution that only works for Epson printers.”

Probably didn’t phase that GMC van a bit. Those things were built like tanks.

Propaganda is a powerful drug.

I had an acquaintance try to tell me that Presidents didn’t use executive orders before Obama. He was mad because Obama “started the whole executive order thing”.

It took me a minute to process the level of stupid that it takes to actually believe that considering,
1.) The US constitution grants the president broad discretion over the executive branch.
2.) An “executive order” is nothing more than a directive from the president to an agency or department under the executive branch.
3.) Nearly every president since Washington has issued executive orders, although they weren’t called “executive orders” and did not have any sort of numbering system until 1907.

So basically he was mad at Obama and every president thereafter for checks notes doing their job.

🎶I make my livin’ off the evenin’ news. Just give me somethin’, somethin’ I can use. People love it when you lose. They love dirty laundry.🎶

We already abandoned the laws of physics at flying reindeer but more importantly, it fits. F-35, not so much.

🎶Santa Clause got shot down by an A-10. Dropping gifts at our house Christmas Eve. You can say there is no war on Christmas. But all the murdered reindeer disagree.🎶

Well you see son, when a man wants to rent an apartment, deliver pizza, chill with his step mom and/or step sister, interview a model, ride in a taxi, or go hiking in the woods, very very much…

The same people giving you a weird look when you say “Merry Christmas” to them on December 26th (the second day of Christmas).

I miss my LG Plasma. Sold that dude with the house because it was super heavy and I was too lazy to unbolt it from the wall. Still regret that decision.

Trying to figure out if your uncle has a case of MAGA or early stage dementia. Could go either way.

Mariwhata?

I was confused until I read the music. 😏

Fixed it. Probably been a couple decades since I’ve seen that movie.

🎶Cruella de Vil. Cruella de Vil. If she doesn’t scare you, not anything will.🎶

Ok, now this is just showing off. Patch cables all the exact required length and everything all nice and neat. I bet you check your backups regularly and do a monthly DR fail over test too.

…Kidding aside, your setup looks really good.

Insurance Companies: “Climate related disasters are acts of God.”

Also Insurance Companies: “Welp, time for us to GTFO of places where ‘acts of God’ seem to be occuring with increasing frequency.”

Film Studios:

“We’ll recycle the same theme’s and franchises over and over until they’re completely worn out AND we’ll paywall the shit out of our media so everyone has to have 27 subscriptions to watch anything remotely interesting. Oh, and you’re going to like it because we said so.”

Also Film Studios:

“Wait, where are you going!? Why aren’t you giving us money??? Come back! You can’t not subscribe!”

If you’re a dude and you’ve never tried a prostate massage, you don’t know what you’re missing. Feels a little weird at first but then it feels really good.