It’s already well known at work that I don’t just not like gore videos but that I hate them and actively avoid them.
A colleague sent me a video of a man being murdered by axe via WhatsApp to my personal phone on my lunch break. Before I opened it I asked if it was a video that I would want to see (because I know what sort of character he is), he implied it was fine.
Despite my suspicion I took his word and watched it. I immediately scolded him, he then made light of the situation, I told him that it wasn’t funny and that if it ever happened again I would be making a formal complaint immediately.
A couple of minutes later, another colleague came in to the mess room, the guy that sent the video made fun of me for not liking the video in front of them. I told him that he was making fun of me and that I wasn’t ok with that.
Do I have the right to not be sent murder videos? What would an employer do if I made a complaint?
Honestly, I feel like you’re being bizarrely calm about the situation. This is so far beyond unacceptable that one or both of them should be immediately fired for this offense, lest you have an open-and-shut hostile work environment lawsuit on your hands.
I would make sure to keep the text as evidence and let HR know about it. If the guys are somehow not fired, and ever approach you again or try to retaliate in any way, go consult a lawyer.
Block his WhatsApp ass.
From my understanding your colleague committed a crime under the Indecent Displays (Control) Act 1981 and you can refer the matter to the police - which I would strongly recommend as this is beyond an employee-employer relationship.
And it brings the employer into a position that the company is forced to make sure that the offender cannot reoffend against anyone (not just you). While the first offense is nothing the company can really be held liable for, anything after they have (officially) made aware they can be held liable for.
He’s done this before, and you haven’t made a complaint???!
Passing snuff movies around is disgusting - IANAL but I would suggest that at minimum it would be Gross Misconduct and, probably, highly illegal and he should be immediately dismissed and possibly arrested.
However, I’m not a lawyer so I would contact ACAS ASAP, see https://www.acas.org.uk/ and log everything, inc. previous videos he’s sent around - don’t delete your evidence! But ACAS will advise you best.
I deleted it immediately because I can’t stand to have that sort of video on my phone.
He’s not sent one to me directly before, but there is a work group chat where similar videos have come up (all deleted by me) and I left a comment saying what I thought about those types videos which pretty much brought them to a stop.
Don’t delete it, don’t act like this is a minor inconvenience, walk directly to HR or your supervisor and tell them what is going on. This is will-not-work-until-this-matter-is-resolved levels of unacceptable.
pretty sure you can get him fired but going to police would be little too much (imo)
Guarantee you wouldn’t be saying this if he was sharing CSAM.
Yes that’s illegal
Pretty sure forcing gore videos onto another person is also illegal.
Can you cite the law?
Naw people who are that dumb and cruel wont learn a thing unless its shoved in his face that what he did was fucked up.
The police won’t just issue a slap on the wrist though, he will be entered onto a database. This could potentially ruin their entire life.
If by database you mean in the criminal system, yeah i guess he would be. Thats the usual consequences of breaking the law. It wouldnt ruin his life though.
It’s just a video. You are making a big deal out of nothing.
Found the colleague
Found the snowflake
I agree, the video isn’t that big a deal. Not respecting boundaries in a work environment, on the other hand, is a very big deal, particularly since he knew he was violating their boundaries. I’ve stopped talking to people who didn’t respect my boundaries before, and those were friends, not coworkers. The fact you can’t recognize the underlying issue is probably something you should reflect on.
In the US and this sounds like a text book case of harassment and is illegal and absolutely should lead to termination of the offending party. I imagine the UK has stronger labor laws to protect workers, so uh, go to your HR department and whatever the local government labor board equivalent is. You should absolutely not put up with this shitty behavior from anyone.
I imagine the UK has stronger labor laws to protect workers
ahahahaha
no
in the UK you are basically ‘at will’ for the first two years of any job, you can be fired for no reason.
Most of the US is ‘at will’ forever for almost any job.
so basically no better than the UK but you get 3-4x the salary, and sometimes have to pay for healthcare?
(the NHS is fucked)
Straight to HR - that fucker needs sacking. This is the very definition of bullying and harassment.
your colleague is likely a borderline psychopath or antisocial at best (not asocial, antisocial big difference)
I could see this just being someone who is immature and thinking they’re being funny, like someone who is ticklish but doesn’t like being tickled and people keep tickling them randomly.
To be clear I am not condoning the actions of this person, if the op doesn’t want to see gore videos then their wishes should be respected. I’m just thinking back to younger me and I was such an asshole =/
A good employer would listen to your complaint. Then talk to the other guy. But he will not get fired over one incident.
It may get added to his personal file. If the list of complaints gets to big, some training may follow.
In my country it is very difficult to fire somebody for something like this. Only after repeated incidents, extra training and multiple chances to improve over a longer period of time would they stand a chance.
That does however require other people to report those incidents. So go ahead and report it because it clearly makes you very uncomfortable and it is very unprofessional from the other guy.
Talk to HR. If they are not responsive talk to a lawyer that specializes in workplace law.
I might report it but not name him. I know there is a chance that he could get sacked, I think the guy is a grade A moron but I’m not willing to ruin his life over it.
With that kind of attitude you will be a victim forever.
Being sacked isn’t ruining someone’s life. There are other companies, other jobs. It’s hardly the end of the world.
What you’re saying is “I want him to know it’s okay to keep doing this to other people with no consequences”.
He’s ruining his own life by being a moron. By not naming him in a complaint, he will not learn that his actions have consequences.
There’s consequences and then there’s ruining his livelihood. I’m severely pissed off but seeing him sacked won’t make me feel better. I don’t want revenge, I just want him to act like a professional.
You’re allowing their behavior to be normalized, they think it’s ok because you are allowing it to be ok.
He’s already ignored your requests to be more professional. You’ve already made it clear that his behavior is making you uncomfortable. I’m sure there’s a code of conduct or similar somewhere that he agreed to that would prohibit this bullshit. Fuck him. Whatever happens to him is on him at this point.
Consequences and revenge are not the same thing. If he doesn’t receive the direct consequences of his actions, he will not learn that he shouldn’t do that. Clearly he is incapable of learning via polite means. You are not the only person he’s doing this to, and it is not acceptable.
The consequences are 100% on him and 0% on you.
He chose to be a douche and is presuming on others to keep this under wraps so he can continue being abusive. Playing along with his secrecy game only helps the abuser. You have absolutely no obligation to keep this private, and moreover you have digital evidence in the form of a text message.
This person will obviously never be professional. How many others you work with are also traumatized by those videos but don’t say anything, I wonder. Get this scumbag fired for your coworkers if you won’t do it for yourself.
I’m UK too. As I see it your options are one or more of:
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ignore the incident without comment and don’t give him the satisfaction of upsetting you;
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block him so he can’t do it again. If he needs your number for other reasons then he gave up that right when he sent you that disgusting stuff; now he needs other routes, which you can block as needed;
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raise the issue with your team leader or manager advising that you just want it to stop, you don’t want disciplinary action taken against him, but if he’s a repeat offender then the company might take it further anyway (which would be appropriate and correct);
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DO NOT go to HR. They are not your friend or ally. They are there to protect the company and it’s just as likely you’ll be terminated as him. HR is a last resort, if you can’t get any satisfaction from management, and you keep suffering this kind of abuse (because that’s what it is; I’m not exaggerating), only then go to HR and even then only after notifying everyone concerned - the bully/bullies and your manager - that’s what you’re going to do.
If this cockwomble gets fired because of sending that video to you, you have nothing to be ashamed of. It’s his own stupidity that got him there, not you “grassing him up” or whatever other cockney nonsense you might have knocking around inside your noggin. You don’t owe that wanknugget anything, especially after he sent you stuff you explicitly said you didn’t want to see.
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thats highly disturbing and im sorry to hear that happened to you. your employer should absolutely take this seriously. whether or not they are legally obligated to, im not sure, but if you are at a large company speak to your office of ethics, associate relations, or if small, anyone in HR. just speak up.
That’s some hostile workplace kind of BS, and shouldn’t be tolerated. Document everything, names, dates, info etc.
Murder him and make a video
/s for any dumbass who gets upset over this
You’re being bullied. He will continue because he thinks you won’t respond. Bullies get worse, not better.
Absolutely correct. That asshole knew exactly what he was doing and he is only going to escalate if OP doesn’t push back.
OP gets a random number. Honey traps him. And breaks his heart and at the end send him dick pic
