I saw this asked on another instance, thought I’d ask it here and I’ll post my response from there in the comments as I think it felt cathartic.
Doesn’t need to be a life or death situation, just any moment in your life where you found yourself saying “Holy shit, I can’t believe this is happening!”
I honestly don’t know, I was pretty fucked up until 4 years ago and things only got better as I lucked out and got a job at Apple where they really enforced that you should strive to be the best, plus everyone there was successful in some other way. It came with healthcare which led to an ADHD diagnosis, which led to cutting down on drugs and that led to retraining as a software developer and now totally drug free for almost a month. Been a dev for a year.
Had that not happened I’d still be fucked. Now I don’t know if I was in that state because of my past or not.
To answer your question, I would say compassionate, but again I don’t know if it’s because of the things I went through or just the way I am. I have empathy for days and like to think I am on the right side of history with many things.
Now as the oldest, I saw a lot more than my brothers and they are nothing at all like me in terms of compassion, activism, and genuinely always trying to understand other people. I don’t care if you’re black, white, or pink. Junkie, criminal, or bum. As long as you’re trying to be a better person I will give you time and listen.
Ultimately, I’d say I really don’t know but anger is something I’ve never suffered from. Although there could be an argument for turning any anger inwards in self destructive manners, but again with ADHD they go hand in hand too.
One thing for sure is we are who we are due to our pasts in a certain way and it can be harder for some people and easier for others to overcome it.
Edit: It just occurred to me you said childhood trauma, but I hadn’t really thought about it that much that it would be trauma. Interesting.
I’m glad you found the right place and people at the right time… It’s funny how things like that can make such a huge difference. You’re totally right - we’re all a product of what we go through. That stuff that happens when you’re young… man that shit can take a long time to process and too often we fuck up a lot of other stuff on the way. I’ve been really lucky in my life to be in the right place at the right time, to have good people looking out for me, and to be given forgiveness and grace that I didn’t deserve at the time.
I really appreciate people who will own up to the breaks we’ve been given or the luck we have had along the way.
I see far too many people believe that nobody else plays a role in their success, which enables them to look down on others as through they’re inferior.
Forgiveness is key to life I think, the old adage of forgive but don’t forget, as if we hold on to grudges or preconceptions of people then we only really hurt ourselves. A lot can be said for humility imo.