You must log in or # to comment.
“You’re not good for much, but you do a damn good vacuum.”
-60yo lady to 20yo me, bookshop job.
“You look like a lifeguard” made my friend spit his drink out with that one
I stole it from Babylon 5, but “assassin of joy” is one I’ve used a few times
Lots of good lines in that show.
Xathras have hard life. Probably have hard death. But at least that way, there’s symmetry.
Once the avalanche has started, it is too late for the pebbles to vote.
Reminds me of a line from Community: “You’re more like a fun vampire, instead of sucking blood you just suck.”
“You fucking Alaskan!”
I laughed uncontrollably for several minutes after receiving this compliment. Wrong continent, buddy.
As an Alaskan, I will say that that is a compliment of the highest order.
Now, if somebody had called you a Texan, that’s basically a slur. An insult of the greatest magnitude.
Living in the same latitudes I could only take it as a compliment.
It’s hard to underestimate you
Holy shit, this is crushingly depressing. And wasn’t even directed at me.
From a certain angle it could be a compliment. “I know how good you are, so I can’t undersell you”
Use that angle when someone calls you out on this insult.
Nah man, this is a straight punch to the soul lol
This is very powerfull because it has no slurs, polite, does jot compare you to something like a 8 years old insult and makes you think about for a moment. When the meaning sinks in you realize its power and it hurts.
Insults that compare you to something aren’t that powerful.
Insults that describe you, like this one, have a great impact.
Stealing this
I like “mouth breather” from Stranger Things it has the right sound and pacing to make a good insult but doubles back as a wtf thinker moment. In an emo moment where the person wants to auto respond to everything in argument, it is funny to manipulatively force them to deny it, then call them out on how stupid they are for saying they do not breathe.
… then call them out on how stupid they are for saying they do not breathe.
Either you’re a mouth breather yourself or you’re a Fallout ghoul or something.
Also the amount of times I heard people called mouth breathers when I was in the Corps is off the charts.
Sounds like a case of the crayon-eater calling the mouth-breather stupid…
Hahahhahahhahahahhahshajhahahahahhashahhaahahahahahahahhaha what a funny, original joke! I’ve never heard that before, not even a single time in my entire life! You should do standup!
Damn, did I touch a nerve?
Oh, are you actually a person and not ai?
Is that supposed to be the strange insult?
FYI “mouth breather” predates the setting of Stranger Things by decades. It’s also not about manipulatively forcing them to deny it: https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/508300/mouth-breathing-as-slang-for-stupidity
I got told I sound like Dukie from “Adventures of the Gummi Bears”.
A friend of mine who’s a professional singer got told by his former conductor upon firing him, “well, see, if a violinist has a bad instrument he can just replace it. But in the case of a singer, well, it’s just not so easy.” Very roundabout and very crushing.
Oh I got one from when I was a kid: my sibling’s friend once valled her an “invertebrate brain”. I’m glad she didn’t have any vertebrae in there!
“your such a horrible person, Mr Rogers wouldn’t even want you to be his neighbor”
The human equivalent of drinking orange juice after brushing your teeth.
That or smooth rain.“Your opinion matters as much as anne franks drum set”
Not said to me but someone I know, “you’re a lanky string of piss”.
“Call him… call him ‘piss lips’, but don’t tell him I said that.”
Kill yourself sound so weird to me
In early 1980s, driving to the mall right before Christmas with girlfriend and her mom in their ancient huge Caddilac. It’s a zoo. Girlfriend’s mom consipates the whole parking garage by driving poorly and gridlocking the place. People are honking and yelling at her. She hangs out the window and yells, in a strong Fran Drescher accent: “YOU DON’T HAVE THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!”
