By Asher Perlman

  • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Disturbingly accurate. I ain’t out doing midlife crisis shit because I suddenly stared into the abyss at my own mortality. It’s because I can afford everything I’ve always wanted to do.

    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      I sure hope someone with “drunk” in their name isn’t going out and buying a motorcycle as a midlife crisis.

      Maybe go on an uber kick. Just take uber everywhere. Or hire a personal driver. The important thing here is if you fall asleep, you’re not also in control of a several ton killing machine that can affect the lives of innocent civilians at 2pm.

      …maybe buy a blender!

      • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        I’ve ridden motorcycles since before I could legally drive. I can be a drunk and I can ride, I just can’t do both at the same time. I don’t get on one if I’ve had anything to drink.

        I’m a drunk, not a moron.

        • Droggelbecher@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          Man this would be me if I could afford both booze and a bike. I guess the health side effects of not drinking to safe money are nice though!

        • LovableSidekick@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          Woah, are those real? They are awesome. The bouncy shoes we had when I was a kid had ridiculous ineffective springs on them, no more functional than the propeller on a beanie copter.

    • abbadon420@lemm.ee
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      1 month ago

      I have been saving up for a motorcycle since I was 20. Now I’m approaching 40 and there’s finally some money in that account

      • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        I highly recommend it if you’re the kind of person who can be safe and keep your concentration on the road. I have a town hopper with small bags that I use more often than either my car or my truck and I’ve got a bagger that I take on long trips if the weather is pretty reasonable. It’s fun, it’s cheaper to maintain than a full size vehicle, and generally it’s quicker getting in and out of places.

      • anomnom@sh.itjust.works
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        1 month ago

        I had a child just before turning 40. As soon as that happened my urge to ride around on 2 wheels vanished while the rest of traffic is oversized trucks and SUVs with “drivers”staring at TikTok videos.

      • iegod@lemm.ee
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        1 month ago

        Scuse but I bought a bike in my mid 20s for a few grand wtf kinda bike you holding out for? Like 2300 all in. It wasn’t a beauty, it wasn’t in pristine condition but it got me in and I learned a lot. You have to be realistic with expectations.

        • abbadon420@lemm.ee
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          1 month ago

          There are always more important things or more immediate concerns. I had my first kid at 23. Plus 2300 is not something I have ever had as spare money.

      • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        A lot of younger people think it’s because older people are trying to look cool or recapture their youth. I think that’s because of years of sitcom jokes and commercials. I’m just out here trying to have a good time and I hope everyone else gets that opportunity as well.

        • LovableSidekick@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          People who think in memes seem to map everything they see onto one. I think it’s just automatic. They also don’t know what objectivity is, so if you criticize that mentality they assume you’re only defending a particular stereotype you personally fit. Now that I think of it, this level of brain function is so common it actually kind of explains how Americans just elected a convicted criminal for President.

        • JeffKerman1999@sopuli.xyz
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          1 month ago

          I cannot afford it but I completely understand the situation. I’ve been unhappy with everything in my life since I started working 20 years ago. I’m not living paycheck to paycheck anymore but I cannot afford anything because as soon as I have some money there’s some fucking emergency happening. Roof on fire, car accident, heating pipes explosion, electric connection on fire, bike stolen… it’s like clockwork: I save some money, something happens.

    • ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee
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      1 month ago

      When I was like three I watched the property maintenance dude plowing snow on our building’s front yard with a pickup truck and I thought that not only was it the coolest job in the world, but oh, how badly I wanted a truck like that too.

      Fastforward 30 years and there I’m staring at one in the used cars parking lot at the local dealership realising it’s what I’ve always wanted and I can actually afford it too. Now I get to stare at it every single day because it’s mine. I even ended up starting my own business later so now it’s not only fun to drive and beatiful to look at but also useful.

    • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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      1 month ago

      Yup. I’m still living paycheque to paycheque.

      I’m at a prime age for “midlife crisis” I just need my finances to agree that I can have.

      Got a new job last winter, I’ve gotten two raises since. Maybe I’m moving in the right direction? I hope so. (I’m a bit less than 5% above where I started after 11 months)

      I like the new job too. So IDK.

      • LovableSidekick@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        “Due to current economic conditions, midlife crises will be late-life crises until further notice. We apologize for any inconvenience.”