Mad she didn’t get invited to a concert my GF bought tickets to. Welp
I mean, if my friends knew I was a huge fan of the band, were going and weren’t like, tickets are £50, do you want one? It would sting.
I wasn’t planning on it, my GF bought the tickets without asking me about it, and didn’t know about my pal being into the band. But my friend figured I was the one who left her out. Plus, not everyone gets invited to everything, hey I’m dating someone here. Called me up and berated me about being a bad friend without saying what it was she was mad about. I prefer not to have friends that use that kind of rhetoric.
Thats a specific situation you’re imagining and isnt necessarily what happened
I did realise that it’s a specific situation but as the original post didn’t have more context, I didn’t see why I shouldn’t be allowed to suggest some.
If OP wants to expand on the situation, they’re welcome to.
A friend tried to get me into Amway. I heckled him and refused.
He asked me again and I was more serious this time. I said no, and threatened if he asked me ever again it was the last he’d speak to me.
He asked again. I said “remember how I said we wouldn’t be friends if you kept proselytizing that shit to me?”, to which he replied, “yeah, but lemme sketch this out to you because it’s awesome.” Like, he wasn’t sorry and he still tried to bring me onboard.
I left. Didn’t speak to him for 31 years. He died in COVID.
My dad has a friend try to talk him into amway sometime in the late 80s/early 90s. He had painted a pyramid shape onto cinder blocks in his basement to explain the revenue stream and everything.
He said no, but that friend ended up high enough in a payment chain that he’s still rich as sin, and my dad got to be one of the scant few that turned down what would’ve actually been a lucrative business venture in a pyramid scheme.
Started a friendship with a classmate, he was bit of a know-it-all, we were discussing some esoteric stuff and he laid out his theory I said “ah that’s BS”, and gave my reasons. Then he got very uptight and ended our friendship there and then, and escorted me out of his apartment.
Very strange experience.
Edit: It’s one of those cases you recall and think “Was it me that were the stupid one there?”
I asked someone to stop saying “half 5” as a time since it was ambiguous & confusing, especially given that we weren’t in an English-speaking country & folks come from all over (many culture this means one thing or the other, while many—including where I grew up—don’t even use it as an expression). I asked a few times, then another time we were gonna meet up, I asked him “half five ha” “so what time do you really mean?” “half 5” …so I just didn’t show up, wasn’t in the mood. We haven’t really talked since.
You didn’t like the way your friend… told time? And that was enough to end the friendship?
And I thought I was neurotic. How do you even have friends? I’m not even attacking you, I’m looking for advice here.
There is no reason to be unclear with folks with some weird dialectal thing that is inconsistent across cultures when you aren’t in that culture… or to keep doing something on purpose when asked to stop for a couple of months. I thought it would be a one-time thing since I wasn’t feeling it that night, but everything ended up fizzling out after I guess my no show. We would chat if we ran into each other but neither of us planned anything together after.
I was being charitable. It’s now becoming obvious you’re just a finnicky person with bad social skills.
I mean seriously, if I had a friend who got so uppity about some silly way I told time (that was common where I came from), I would have to seriously wonder what was wrong with them.
When other, non-native English speakers were invited to hangouts they were even more confused—asking me what he meant & I would have to look it up. In casual speech or storytelling these things don’t matter but when planning events & meetings they do. I have seen so many confusing scheduling issues in work & life that can be solved by just communicating clearly & precisely. I have seen meetings missed for time zones & ambiguous phrases like “biweekly”. You know what I do? I send an clear date & timestamp + *.ics iCalender file since I try to put events in my calendar since I can be forgetful, & it is almost no effort to forward it to the other interested parties. The other end then has a precise reminder that can be localized/translated however is clear to them in their calendar—& as a result no one has mistaken an event.
Yes, the “obvious poor social skills” of being clear with folks when their time is involved. As well, trying to get someone else to give up their speech oddity in planning for the sake of everyone else, myself included, by explaining that others are confused & it not being worth it. Do you have experience working in international groups?
Yes, obviously poor social skills. Demonstrably.
I had to look that up and I’ve always lived in an English speaking country. Such a weird way to say 5:30.
4:30 in the Netherlands & German IIRC
It’s before the time?
In 2016, when I voted Bernie Sanders.
I lost two friends that year, because they wanted Clinton.
Welp, we knew who voted for the right person back then.
Whenever I wanted to hang out she was at volleyball practice
Lost (sent away) two who tried to ‘date’ my husband.
Friends; plural. I quit drinking.
Eastern countries don’t build all their communal events around booze but instead food. One of the many reasons I have no interest in moving back to the West.
Sounds like a smart way.
A drinking buddy of mine quit. I got good at making mocktails. Bonus now when I want a cocktail but not booze I can have a nice drink.
This is ages ago, invited me to an MLM event without telling me it’s MLM. I’ve experienced cult that night.
I had someone do that with me too, but in their defense, I know they never had the brains to tell that was a cult. Fortunately they didn’t get trapped either, but they did waste a bit of money in it for a short while.
This hits close to home…
Brother: Lets just say we had a major disagreement in early November.
No nut November can really split families apart
Couldn’t agree what stash you’d each gorw for Movember? :D /s
Or they couldn’t agree if almonds or pistachios were the best nut.
Pistachios, because almonds aren’t actually nuts. They’re drupes
RIP friendship 😔
Pistachios aren’t actually nuts. They’re drupes
Oh shit, you’re right! I had no idea, good catch.
I let my agoraphobia get the better of me.
Considering that the last person I knew online was a “friend” (something I’m really not sure, because I guess I’m not even sure what friendship is?), the person accused me of using AI to talk to her, because I often seem cold and emotionless (even though I’m just numb due to events that has been happening throughout my entire existence, and I guess that’s different from not being able to feel emotions).
Speaking of offline people, the last person I knew (also not sure whether it was friendship or not) betrayed my trust, they did a thing behind my back, a thing that I became aware of, but the same person continued to hide it from me and insisted of referring to me as “friend”.
Well, maybe I never had friends at all, and I guess I won’t as I’m now in my 30s. It’s okay, as I often mentally repeat to myself, every coffin can only hold a single body anyways (apologies for this memento mori).
Yes, I’ve never heard of anyone making a friend past 30. Impossible!
I forgor 💀
Hop yo remem!
Worst example is friend who, after being hospitalized for accident while car surfing, died car surfing again. I wasn’t present for either event.
Second worst is dude with head injury (unrelated) started talking about crystals and toxins and juice fasting. Called him out one day, and it was catastrophic. This one is still alive, at least AFAIK.
Third, divorce. You will find out who your real friends are when you get divorced.
Third, divorce. You will find out who your real friends are when you get divorced.
When my ex- and I were going through a divorce, they didn’t want me to say anything publicly at all. They were insistent that it wasn’t anyone else’s business, and since I was trying to make the process as painless as possible, I assumed that this was a good-faith request.
I was wrong.
I was being silent, and they were telling everyone a load of horseshit about me, and bad-mouthing me in public to every single one of our mutual friends. I lost all but one of our mutual friends; my silence was assumed to be an admission of guilt.
I’m so sorry. I strongly suspect this happened to me as well. To this day I’ve never mentioned the evidence I had of her infidelity to anyone, because I’m a better person that she is. My former friends likely discovered this for themselves in due course.
neglect
