Not sure what it’s like in your part of the world, but where I’m from it’s pretty much the whole deal. The ceremony is all about remembering the person and marking the loss of a friend, family member, or whatever. The wake is about having a riot and sharing great stories, bonding over mutual ties, and celebrating the life of whoever it was that kicked the bucket.
If it gets a bit emotional and tears are shed, then hey, that’s great news. Otherwise, it’s just an excuse for a few beers and a chat about the person in the box, to make sure their impact on your life or the best of times you spent together are remembered fondly.
That said, everyone’s different, so smile if you like and don’t if you don’t like 😊
Hey, that’s super cool and entirely valid. How you feel after a loss - whether it’s ten seconds, ten days, or ten years - after a bereavement is a bit of a lottery where there’s no winners, just differing levels of shit.
Through my work life and private life, I’ve been to more than my fair share of funerals, and they all suck to different degrees. Some are absolutely horrendous to get through if the close family have been particularly affected, some have been led by a very positive celebrant who framed the departed’s life in a great way.
The wake is always fairly positive though. If it’s someone I knew on a thinly professional level then I’ll get a coffee, share a light-hearted story about the deceased with their close family, and fuck off.
If it’s been someone I was closer with, then I’ve had a great time meeting old friends, going over long forgotten hilarious stories, getting a bit emosh realising that we won’t be sharing any more again, and getting rat-arsed into the night knowing that the funeral brought us all back together for one last hurrah.
Everyone deals with it differently though, and that’s awesome. The only caveat I’d apply to that statement is that if you find (god forbid you have to go through it again soon) that it starts to affect your day to day life, then there’s loads of resources to reach out and seek a helping hand.
Sorry. I’ve turned a ten second reply into a ten minute one there.
Funeral: 😐
Wake: 🙂
I had no idea I was supposed to smile at a wake until they took the photo lol.
Not sure what it’s like in your part of the world, but where I’m from it’s pretty much the whole deal. The ceremony is all about remembering the person and marking the loss of a friend, family member, or whatever. The wake is about having a riot and sharing great stories, bonding over mutual ties, and celebrating the life of whoever it was that kicked the bucket.
If it gets a bit emotional and tears are shed, then hey, that’s great news. Otherwise, it’s just an excuse for a few beers and a chat about the person in the box, to make sure their impact on your life or the best of times you spent together are remembered fondly.
That said, everyone’s different, so smile if you like and don’t if you don’t like 😊
This comment made me emotional before you even said “if it gets a bit emotional”. I can’t even think of death without getting sad.
I’ve only had one death of anyone REALLY close to me to deal with so far, but I remember how that feels extremely vividly.
Hey, that’s super cool and entirely valid. How you feel after a loss - whether it’s ten seconds, ten days, or ten years - after a bereavement is a bit of a lottery where there’s no winners, just differing levels of shit.
Through my work life and private life, I’ve been to more than my fair share of funerals, and they all suck to different degrees. Some are absolutely horrendous to get through if the close family have been particularly affected, some have been led by a very positive celebrant who framed the departed’s life in a great way.
The wake is always fairly positive though. If it’s someone I knew on a thinly professional level then I’ll get a coffee, share a light-hearted story about the deceased with their close family, and fuck off.
If it’s been someone I was closer with, then I’ve had a great time meeting old friends, going over long forgotten hilarious stories, getting a bit emosh realising that we won’t be sharing any more again, and getting rat-arsed into the night knowing that the funeral brought us all back together for one last hurrah.
Everyone deals with it differently though, and that’s awesome. The only caveat I’d apply to that statement is that if you find (god forbid you have to go through it again soon) that it starts to affect your day to day life, then there’s loads of resources to reach out and seek a helping hand.
Sorry. I’ve turned a ten second reply into a ten minute one there.